Kagamine Love
by Chibirini1
Summary: A collection of short bits and stories about Rin and Len, and also extras from my other stories! Updated regularly. Twincest, RinxLen
1. Love

**Hey! I thought I'd start a place where I can post all my little short bits I write about the Kagamines... All twincest, of course XD **

**They will probably all be different... at different ages, settings, etc...**

**Anyways, here's the first, and make sure you tell me if you think any would be good for stories! Leave me a review and I'll reply!**

**I sadly do not own Vocaloid**

She is my everything and anything.

We've been together as long as I can remember, in one way or another.

She's the light I need and crave, the thing that keeps me alive and wanting to be alive.

Her eyes are the portals not into her own soul, but the key for unlocking mine.

I see her in my mind a million times over.

"Len!" She turns to me in the light, her mouth and lips curved into a sweet grin as she laughs, calls my name.

"Len!" She laughs as she looks beside me while we lay on my bed, her eyes meeting mine as the laughter fades, replaced by an intense feeling between us both.

"Len!" She calls to me, holding her hands out for me to join her, to be together, like one.

"Len." She says as she comes up behind me as I stare into the mirror. We stand shoulder to shoulder, and I look at both of us in the mirror.

We are meant for each other. We are not even two pieces that fit; we are two halves of the same thing. I love her, she is all that is perfect and good, and she holds my soul and heart in her hands. Our bond is like no other, unbreakable, everlasting. I stare into her eyes, and I know she is the one for me.

However, as we stand in front of the glass, and I stare at us both, I see only one thing, the thing everyone else sees, what separates us:

Twins.

"Rin, wake up. C'mon Rinny." She groans and turns over, facing away from me as she buries herself in my blanket.

I sigh. Rin may be my twin, but she is impossible for even me to wake up. She rolls back over and reaches out, arms stretching. I frown, because I know what she wants, I always do. Meiko says that when we were little and Rin would cry, I would look up serenely at Meiko and request whatever Rin wanted, as if I had read her mind. She would always stop crying.

I give in and reach out as well, pulling her closer for a snuggle, my cheeks heating up as I feel her close proximity.

I love Rin with all my heart, and I have some suspicions she feels similarly, but I have to pretend we don't. We would never be accepted, we're twins for god's sake, and everyone already acts like we are a little weird anyways. At the very least, to protect Rin, I have to make sure I keep it buried, and that she does as well.

But sometimes, like last night when she slid into my bed, barely announcing her unexpected arrival, I can't help myself. Like now, when we are so close, and her face is buried in my chest and I'm smelling the scent of her shampoo and am in awe.

Her head moves and she tilts her head up, eyes opening sleepily. "Morning?" she asks groggily. I nod, my mind too busy memorizing her face and expression to form a sentence.

"Uhhhhhh!" She groans, snuggling her head back down, as if she's trying to block out the morning. I think she might have stayed there if a knock hadn't occurred at my door.

"Hey Len! Have you gotten up yet? And wake Rin up too, will ya!" Meiko says from the hall through the door.

"Ok!" I call, relived they haven't noticed Rin's absence from her own bedroom. I feel a warm exhale of exasperation on my arm before Rin tiredly picks her body from the bed and sits up. I sit up too, and the sight of her beautiful face with her gold hair all mussed makes me lean over to brush my lips against her soft cheek.

She jumps like a spark flew on her cheek rather than my lips, turning to look at me with eyes open slightly wider than usual, searching. I smile at her.

"Good morning." I say, hoping for a good cover up. She smiles back.

"Morning." She replies, more pleasant this time. She opens her mouth as if to speak, but the sound of someone singing in the shower next door to my room makes her pause. She closes her mouth with a snap and slides off the bed, headed for the door and her own room, so she can get ready.

It does not go unnoticed by me that she isn't wearing any pants, just a long t-shirt and her undergarments, something I didn't observe in the dark of last night. She turns before reaching the door and smiles.

"Thanks for letting me sleep with you Lenny!" she says happily. I simply nod and she stealthily slips out the door.

I lay back in my bed, my eyes coming to rest on the warm spot beside me that she had previously occupied. The bed looks strangely bigger. Emptier.

Shut up. Shut up! The voice in my head that tells me what I should have said or done won't shut up. I hate that thing, always appearing after I needed it. I ignore my own thoughts as I pick myself up and head to get dressed. After all, the faster I am ready, the faster I'll get to see her. It's not wrong to want to be on time, I mean. Right?

This all started when we started to turn from children into teenagers, entering into our adolescence suddenly turned Rin and I's closeness into something that was no longer adorable, but unsettling to others. Rin and I only managed to grow closer, the feelings we had only blooming, even if we were both ignorant to that fact, and also the fact that other's minded and noticed how close we were.

We held hands almost constantly, and interacted with each other like we were connected: she moved, I moved in response, and vice versa.

Sometimes when Rin was just lounging around, on the couch or our bed, playing her gameboy or something, I would often come and lay by her, cuddled up just to be by her. just to lay my arms around her casually, to hold her and feel her warmth and smell the clean smell of her skin. I wouldn't do anything but lay there, and she never minded, just continued playing her game or watching TV as we cuddled.

It was during one of those times when Meiko came to have that conversation with us.

We were lying on the bed, Rin was playing her game and I had my body pressed up by hers, my eyes closed blissfully, my forehead touching the soft skin of her neck.

When Meiko walked in, my eyes flew open and my arms tightened ever so slightly around my twin automatically, like protecting her was deep in my genetic code and involuntary reflexes. This did not go unnoticed by Meiko, who stared at us and leaned up against the wall before she spoke, just gazing at us for a moment.

Rin, of course, did not raise her eyes from her game until Meiko actually started talking.

"I need to talk to you two." She said seriously, which made my stomach flip with slight nerves. I released Rin and sat up, and Rin, with a slight frown, followed suit.

"Yea?" I asked, casually brushing my shoulder against Rin's. She did the same back playfully.

"I've noticed how close you two are lately." She said, brushing a hand through her short cut. I frowned, not sure what she meant. Rin and I were always close.

"You two are siblings, I know. Close ones. But…I think it's time you two got your own rooms, maybe gave each other some space." She sighed.

Rin threw her game down. "What? No!" I placed my hand on hers gently.

"Meiko, we don't want that. We are fine as we are." I tried to say calmly. Meiko shook her head.

"Sorry kiddo, but everyone thinks it's for the best." She bit her lip. "You two really aren't kids anymore."

I could see the argument was inarguable, but I felt myself falling apart. Why were they trying to separate us? What was so wrong?

"Why is this happening?" I said angrily, clenching my fists on my lap. "We didn't do anything wrong!" I glanced at rin, and despite her dark expression, I could see tears in her eyes. I leaned forward to rest my forehead against hers in an effort to comfort her, and to hide her tears from Meiko. There was nothing Rin hated more than letting someone see her cry, even me.

"Because of that." Meiko said softly. I pulled back, meeting her eyes. "You two are so close and intimate; it's a little concerning for two siblings." She stressed. "It would be best of you guys gave each other a little breathing room." My teeth clenched. Why did she make it sound like it was us who wanted this? We didn't want or need this!

"But why? Why is it concerning? We love each other!" Rin spilled out, leaning forward desperately. Meiko met her gaze.

"That's why." She said simply almost sadly, before turning and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Rin and I both stared at the door in complete silence, it echoed. She then turned to me with crystal tears bleaching her blue eyes.

"Len…" She said, her expression confused and upset, mirroring my own turmoil. I stared at her before looking away from her intense look, but grabbed her hand.

"I don't know." I mumbled. She set her head on my shoulder.

"I love you…" she said softly, and with that I let go, grabbing her to hold her closely.

"It will be fine." I soothed. She looked up, placed a hand on my cheek.

"If you say it will be… you would never lie to me, right?" I nodded, lost for words. She stared at me.

"Len, I just don't understand…" She murmured, lost as I was. I felt like something was breaking inside, but nothing was really happening. What was wrong with me? She removed her hand and slid her feet off the bed. I watched the back of her head as she sat there, motionless. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words were conjured. Instead I just watched her as she stood up and walked out of the room, wiping tears from her cheeks. I wanted to go after her, and she practically called to me to. But I didn't, and the screen already began to be dropped between us.

Over the years, despite separate bedrooms and "Giving each other breathing room," that screen of separation grew thinner as she snuck into my bedroom, grabbed my hand during movies, and stuck by me in everything, and as I found any reason to touch her, to be around her, to hear her. We couldn't help it, it's what came naturally to us. And although we never have talked about it, it's come to where we both know the difference between private and public.

Now don't start thinking perverted things, Rin… Rin was naturally flirtatious, and I loved her, but couldn't bring myself to bring up the damn subject. I know that there's something between us, but the question is: does she know it too?

Sometimes I catch her looking at me in a sort of way, and I can feel the words on my lips. But I can't get them out. They won't. I don't want to lose her forever, create an even thicker screen than before.

I just want to be with her. Hold her, love her, protect her. I see every other guy in the street and think about how they could be with her but I can't, cursed by the blood we share. I see them look at her, and I want to die, want to claim her as mine so no one else can have even a slightest chance with her and her attentions. I feel horrible and guilty at these thoughts, for she's my sister, and not mine to have. But the thought of her with someone else makes me feverish and ill. The thought of it hurts; will the reality of it hurt even more?

"Len?" suddenly the goddess herself is in my face, right into my eyes. "Alive in there?" She asks, stepping back as she sees my eyes focus.

"Let's go." She slips her hand into mine, tugging me along. She glances over her shoulder.

"Will you sit with me for Corrupted Flower today?" She pleads. I smile at her request.

When we first started singing, Rin and I were terrified of singing in the recording studio, but we couldn't tell anyone why. We just were terrified of singing into a microphone, with people watching, so much pressure. We'd slowly trace the edges of the room as the music played in our ears through the headphones, looking anywhere but the mike as we procrastinated. Eventually, they realized that the only way we would sing was if the other twin was in there as well, holding the performing one's hand. Even at the age of 7, we both could be very quiet when recording, so it became a running rule that Rin and I could sit in with each other while recording, even though we were both no longer frightened of recording anymore.

"Sure. You gonna sit in with me?" She nods, giving me a quick grin as we walked into the building, dropping our clasped hands.

In the studio, Rin sings clearly into the mike while her hand sways slightly with mine as I stand silently next to her, with only the director watching the soundboard.

When she was finished, she turns to me.

"Good, ok, or retry?" She demands.

"Perfect." I assure. She swats my arm lightly.

"That wasn't an option!"

We switch places and wait for the cue, and when the music starts up, I am so concentrated that I don't notice Rin's grip getting tighter and tighter throughout the whole song. It is not until she drops my hand and walks out the door when I finish do I realize how my hand hurts. Rin may be small, but she grips tight.

I check with the director quickly and run after her as she ducks into a dressing room, the one we use for music videos. It's abandoned today since we aren't filming anything.

Inside, she sits at a stool as she stares into the mirror blankly.

"Rin?" I say hesitantly, but when she doesn't answer, I sit down on the small love seat and watch her as she picks up a brush and runs it through her hair.

"What's wrong?" I ask her. she keeps staring at me from the mirror as she brushes her hair, and her face turns different, and it looks so… sad. She grimaces at my question.

"Nothing." She says clearly, but I know better. She slips off the stool and walks across the cold tile of the dressing room to the wardrobe, but as she passes me, I catch her hand.

"C'mon Rin." I probe her. She sighs and plops down next to me, her head immediately coming to rest on my shoulder. I bring a hand up to run it over her hair comfortingly.

"Tell me." I insist. She exhales again.

"_Kimi wa oujo boku wa meshitsukai…" _She sings softly, the song I had just been singing moments earlier, Servant of Evil.

"_Destiny divided pitiful twins,"_ I finish in English. Her face turns downcast at the words.

"You don't like Servant of Evil?" I ask softly. She nods silently, and when I look at her, she is blinking back tears.

"Rin!" I pull her closer into my arms, alarmed. What is wrong with my precious twin? I clutch her to me, that painful knot in my chest tightening its hold as I feel damp spots on my shirt.

"I don't want you to die." She gasps quietly into my shirt. She throws her arms around my neck, tightening them to a death grip. "I don't want us to ever be apart. Ever."

My heart aches as I rock my sister back and forth. "Don't cry Rin. It's just a song, just a silly story. No one's leaving. Or dying." She nods but doesn't release her hold. I bury my head into her hair.

"But you would do it, wouldn't you?" She whispers unhappily. When I don't answer, knowing she won't like the truth, she chokes back a sob. "I know…I would for you too. That's the worst thing!" She begins to sob, harder this time, her whole body shaking.

"It…It could actually happen!" She cries, and I have to admit to myself that it is true. I would do anything for Rin. Anything.

But her comment disturbs me. She is not supposed to do that, I do not ever want her to die, not for me or for any other stupid reason. The thought makes my mind blank out, it is so terrible, and I find myself in tears too. I quickly hide them, wiping them away, but the thought stays with me. No wonder Rin is so distressed.

I shhh her, trying to calm her ragged cries as I cuddle her in closer, rubbing her cheek against mine in an effort to soothe her, nuzzling her head lovingly. They dissolve into hiccups as she nestles into my neck and shoulder as I gently lean back and forth, trying to comfort us both.

I don't say anything, because I can't think of anything to say. Besides, I know she doesn't want me to say anything, there's nothing I could say that could make it better or change anything.

So instead I hold her for a while, and eventually pull back to look at her, check if she's still as upset as before. Our eyes meet, and before I know it, our lips have found each other and are moving against each other like two waves.

Want. I want her. I need her. Somehow, the dark thoughts are gone, it's just me and Rin. Together. For once, everything falls away and I just don't care anymore, about nothing but her. This is something that finally feels right, perfect. Like I didn't even know it was missing, but here it is.

I have no idea who started moving closer, but I know at some point I leaned in, wanting to capture her lips, make Rin mine. But it doesn't matter because here we both are, together at last, just the way we want to be, no restraints.


	2. Hair Cut

Len stroked his sister's hair idly as he watched her lie on their bed. She yawned sleepily and peered up at him as he enjoyed the silky feel to her hair.

"Getting long." He remarked. She blinked drowsily before rubbing her eyes.

"Guess it's almost time for a trim." She replied, reaching up to finger one of his locks. He sighed and lay down beside her, wrapping his arms around her. She smiled. It was her favorite time when she and Len could just lay together like this. She secretly loved to be held by him. His breath tickled her neck.

"Are you sure? If you want, we can leave it long. I don't care." He suggested. She frowned slightly before turning towards him.

"Don't be silly, it's fine. I don't care." She snuggled up to his chest and closed her eyes again.

Len frowned. His twin was a mysterious girl sometimes, careful not to appear vulnerable. She often said she didn't care about things that she did. He brushed her bangs back.

Being the Vocaloid twins that they were, they always had the same length of hair, it growing at the exact same pace. If one of them cut their hair, the others would miraculously lose inches as well. Len pressed his lips to his sister's head, remembering when this was first discovered.

When the twins were five and ready to start school, Master decided that it would be best if Len stopped having long hair and got a simple boy's cut, so one afternoon Meiko sat him down for a haircut.

Rin swung her legs as she sat on a chair, watching Len get his hair cut. She sucked on a Popsicle as Luka stood behind her, braiding her hair, which back then, was past her shoulders. Meiko downed a shot of sake before picking up the scissors.

"Meiko-nee, hurry!" Len whined, wanting a Popsicle as well. Meiko frowned and stuck out her tongue, making a box with her fingers as she stared at Len's head.

"Shush. You're ruining my concentration!" she ordered. Miku came skipping in, clothed in a sundress. At seven, she was a tall, spindly thing with growing pigtails. She too got a Popsicle and sat down to watch the scene.

"Len's going to look like a boy huh?" She asked. Rin scowled at her.

"He already does!" She scoffed, eager to defend her blushing twin. Miku stuck out her tongue, purple from the treat. Rin mimicked the older Vocaloid just as Meiko picked up the scissors.

"We will start with the back!" She announced theatrically, relishing in her audience. Luka smiled at Meiko's antics as she twisted Rin's hair.

Meiko cut into Len's hair easily. "Now you won't look like a sheep dog!" She exclaimed cheerfully as the hair fell to the floor.

Luka gasped as a lock of Rin's hair fell into her hand. Meiko stopped at the sound, looking over to see the problem.

Rin, still licking her Popsicle obliviously, sat in the strands of her own hair which mysteriously had fallen out around her. The back of her head was shorn somewhat raggedly, as her brother's was. Luka, Meiko, and Miku all stared at the golden strand in Luka's hand as if it was a ghost before examining Rin's head.

"What could have caused this?" Luka said, horrified and fearful it was her own doing.

"Rin's pretty hair!" Miku sighed sadly, touching her fingertips to the shortened hair.

"Do you think…?" Meiko thought out loud, examining the spot. She saw the similarities to her own handiwork. She reached over and grabbed the scissors, then cut a large strand of Rin's hair off. Luka and Miku gasped, and Meiko looked over to Len just as a strand of hair fell from his hair. Her red eyes widened.

"What's wrong?" Rin asked as Meiko stared at Len, who was getting more worried by the second.

"Rin and Len's hair!" She cried.

"What?" Miku said. Len started to get up from his chair, concerned for his sister.

"Their hair is the same! You cut Rin's, Len's gets cut too!" Meiko exclaimed. Rin frowned and brought her hand up to the back of her head, her eyes widening when she felt the shorn part.

Luka brushed Rin's hand away gently, whispering to Meiko. Miku took Rin's hand.

"What happened to my hair!" Rin cried. Miku patted her hand sympathetically.

"There was an accident." She said gravely. Len's blue eyes widened as he peered behind Rin's head, his hand reaching up to feel the identical spot.

"Rin-" Len started, but was interrupted by Meiko.

"Rin, it looks like you and Len have to have the same hair cut. If his gets cut, yours does too. Do you mind it if it's a little short?" She asked nervously.

Luka stroked Rin's hair. "We would leave it as it is, but master insisted on a boy's cut for Len."

Rin frowned. "How short?" She asked. "Like yours?" She pointed her little finger towards Meiko. Meiko bit her lip and shook her head. Grabbing a magazine, she flipped open to a picture to show Rin.

"Like that." She said. Rin frowned, looking upset for a moment, but suddenly tossed her head.

"I don't care." She announced. "It's just hair." Len frowned as well, remembering her troubled face.

Meiko looked at Luka and shrugged. Grabbing Len's arm, she pulled him back to the chair and finished his hair cut. Miku sat holding Rin's hand as Rin's own hair fell down as well. When Meiko was done, both children had identical short blond hair. Rin shakily raised her hand to feel the new length, and Luka handed her a mirror.

"Now you two look exactly alike!" Miku said cheerfully. Len blushed, hoping she didn't mean he looked like a girl.

After staring unemotionally into the mirror, Rin slowly put the mirror on the table before ripping her hand out of Miku's and running out of the room.

"Rin!" Miku called after her. She turned to Luka, who watched Rin go with a fretful look.

"I didn't mean it like she looked like a boy!" Miku said tearfully, covering her mouth with her hand. Luka sighed, ready to go after the blond girl, but Len slid quickly out of his chair and ran into the hall first.

Meiko brushed blond hair from both chairs. "Maybe next time it won't be so short. If I had known before I started…" she sighed with Luka.

Back in the Kagamine's bed room, Len approached the door cautiously.

"Rin?" He said warily as he pushed the door open. Rin sat face down on the bed, her face buried in Len's pillow. Her body shook with sobs. Her new short hair trembled at the nape of her neck.

Len climbed onto the bed, placing a hand on his sister's back, rubbing it gently.

"Don't be sad Rin, it will grow back." He said soothingly, his young face saddened. Rin shook her head into the pillow.

"They'll cut it again! And I don't care!" Len sighed and laid down next to his sister, wrapping his short arms around her in a hug. After a few moments, she turned to sob into his shoulder blade as he held her sympathetically.

"Don't cry." He murmured. He ran his hand over her short hair. "I think you look beautiful. You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen!"

She sniffed and detached herself from his now damp yellow t-shirt. "Nu-uh." She protested, looking at her twin through tear-filled eyes. He smiled at her tenderly.

"Uh-huh." She shook her head but laid it back on his shoulder, sniffing every once and a while.

"Next time Rin, I won't let them cut my or your hair. I don't care if our hair is long."

"But then you will look like Gakupo." Rin sniffed. "Or a sheepdog." Len laughed.

"Who cares? I'll tie it up like Gakupo-Nii's then, so I at least won't look like a dog." She giggled at the thought before falling silent.

"Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded.

"I don't mind, and it's much better than seeing you cry." She pulled back and smiled shyly at him.

"Thank you." She mumbled. He kissed her forehead and backed off their bed.

"I'll tell them, so no one will cut off our hair." He decided, but he saw the sad look on Rin's face as he left. "What is it?" he asked. She felt her head.

"I still look like a boy." She said quietly. "Everyone will think I'm you." Len frowned, then went to their desk, digging through the scraps and crayons until he found what he was looking for: a white ribbon.

Crawling back onto the bed, he tied the ribbon around her head, making a knot with the ends loose since he wasn't sure how to make a real bow. The ends stood up perkily, and he brushed back the rest of her hair to stay under the ribbon.

"There! Now everyone will know who's the pretty girl twin." She felt the bow lightly before sliding off the bed to examine it in the mirror. After a few seconds, she smiled.

"I like it!" She announced happily. She squeezed Len tightly for a moment before grabbing his hand. "Thank you."

He smiled at her happiness before she tugged him out the door.

Len sighed, looking at his twin now. Was she just saying that now like she did before? He leaned down, close to her face, so close their noses brushed.

Her blue eyes popped open. "What?" she asked.

He touched his forehead to hers. Her color darkened considerably.

"Are you sure you don't want to grow your hair out?" he asked her seriously. She smiled.

Why, do you want to?" she teased. He turned pink at her accusation.

"No! I just thought you might, but didn't want to tell me." He mumbled, turning over to lie on his other side. She laughed quietly and scooted closer to his back, wrapping her limbs around him, resting her head on his shoulder and head.

"Maybe I want to…a little." She admitted. He reached up to cup her cheek.

"Then I guess we aren't getting a trim." He said. She pulled back a little, burying her head into his back. He laughed at her bashful gesture and turned over.

"What?" he inquired, smiling down at her.

"You're sweet." She mumbled into his shirt. He stroked her hair softly as she sighed.

"Love you Rin." Len said.

"Love you too." She mumbled, before squeezing her arms around him.

**A/N**

**Hey! This just popped into my head, and I thought it was cute. I mean, why else would they have the same length hair? *ignores other reasons***

**Does anyone wonder why a drunk Meiko would be the one giving a hair cut? I wouldn't let her near my head with any sharp object, especially when intoxicated. Not even safety scissors XD**

**Hope you all like! Also, check out my other rinxlen story, Broken Fates!**

**Anyways~**

**Haruhi Hitachiin~**

**Hey! Oh thank you / As always, you are so sweet! Your reviews always make me sure I want to be a writer TAT *hugs* I look forward to hearing what you think! I definitely love you too! **

**LazyBigCat~**

**Aw thank you! I'll try to every week, but I may switch to every other cuz I'm working on my other, main rinxlen story!**

**Miharu1111~ **

**Aw, thank you so much! You are so sweet, and thank you for reading them all! I don't mind it at all, and your English looks good to me! :)**

**I will keep writing! Thank you again! **

**Thank you to everyone! Next week I think will be more about Len~ or at least from his point of view! **


	3. Heartbeat

Len POV

I stared at my ceiling in agony. Another sleepless night. I clenched my jaw, feeling the tightness throughout my body. I turned over, hoping to fall into restless slumber, while dreams of her, my object of obsession and want flitted through my mind.

She was there, just beyond the thin wall. Sleeping, I could hear, feel her breathing. Each breath she took I took in mine.

I rolled around, blankets on, blankets off. But a day's worth of memories wouldn't stop flashing in my head, all of my twin sister, Rin. My beloved one. How I wanted her, just for me, for her to finally love me back. I wouldn't be alone…in my feelings or in person.

I listened in the silence to my own heartbeat, imagining hers across the way. If they could only beat together in harmony…

I sat up, stared at my wall. There was no way I could sleep. But I could feel the hunger, creeping up, and the longer I tried to control it, the worse it got. I shook.

My toes dug into the carpet. I rubbed my fingertips together, imagining the feeling of her soft golden hair between my fingers. I stand as if pulled, but resist myself and head towards my window.

Instead of staring at the view, I focused on my own refection. My pale, lean body and chest, no shirt. My hair, not constrained by a ponytail lay round my neck almost girlishly. I lowered my eyes from the image, cursing the blood between Rin and I; it kept us apart and bonded us in looks as well. Perhaps if I was more… manly, muscular, she would…

I rubbed my palm roughly against the side of my face, blinking sleepily. I could try to sleep again, but I know I would just lie awake again, for the feeling was even stronger than before.

I found myself at my own door, not even sure what was happening. My hand, reaching for the doorknob, twisting, pulling.

My heart beat faster. Was Rin's as well? Did she realize in her own dreams what I thought, was doing?

Her door, the one with the orange sign and fast handwriting. Rin. The doorknob reflected tauntingly, begging me. I imagined how it would feel, just to open that door, what I would do…

No. I rested my head gently against her door. Why? I was a monster. She was my sister. I loved her, this could hurt her, ruin what we had. I felt sick, ashamed of myself.

I felt my head against my arm; it was feverishly hot, from my wants and shame. _Please Rin._ I thought. Forgive me for these thoughts.

I straightened up, ready to turn away, retreat back into my lonely room. But as I turned, I suddenly had a flash picture of her face, smiling at me, her blond hair brushing against those soft, pink cheeks as she called my name.

"_Len!" _Rin. I love you. You are everything. Every word you say, the way you make me smile, so stubborn yet caring… how beautiful you were, everywhere, inside, out.

_I'm sorry Rin._ My last thought before I opened her door.

There, across the room. A beautiful figure in the dim light of her pink and orange nightlight, its soft light making her face glow. Her covers were askew, making her form visible as she curled up to her pillow, asleep. Her face perfectly peaceful. I smiled the moment my eyes adjusted, when I saw her. Suddenly, I was calm, relaxed, peaceful, despite the rapid beating of my heart.

Beautiful, beautiful girl. How I long to utter those words to you, to make you smile and laugh with your beautiful voice. I stand in the door way for a moment before entering, closing the door behind me.

Closer, across the carpeted floor, the only sound her sweet breaths and the slight whirring of the ceiling fan. Closer and closer, each moment more breathtaking.

Somewhere inside, I scolded myself. This was creepy, Rin would surely hate you. It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong. I paused, squeezing my eyes shut as they overwhelmed me. But my love for her beat again and again, like a drum, exploding loudly, the sound resonating in the still air.

It's wrong.

No. I want her to be happy. I want to love her. I just want to make her happy.

By her bed, I sat down, exhausted. She slept, a hand curled near her face. Her ribbon sat by the lamp on her bedside table, its ends slightly frayed. Without it, her gold hair was splayed freely across her cream pillowcase, like strands of a golden halo. I stroked a piece, tucking it behind her ear, felt its sweet silkiness in my fingers as I had imagined it before.

I love you, I love you. No matter how hard I think it, I doubt she gets the message, despite us being twins. Things would have been easier if twin telepathy was real. Or it would make things worse.

I sigh, a million wishes and wants bubbling to the surface. I want to lay down, take her in my arms and finally find some peace, some deep rest. But I bite my lip to keep myself in check. Instead, I daringly lean down, inhaling the sweet perfume of her skin before my lips brush her cheek. She moves slightly, shifting a tiny bit closer. I can't help but smile at this. I stand, wishing I didn't have to be alone or leave her alone again.

Walking to the doorway is harder, tearing myself away from the one I love. I love you. It rings in my mind as I close the door, dejected but exhausted as I head to my bed, now cold.

Inside, she stirs. Opens her blue crystal eyes that are not glazed with sleep, but full of clarity, and something else. She sits up, the blanket sliding off her top half as she stares at the closed door, then the wall separating her from her brother.

She brings a hand to her cheek, where his kiss burns pleasantly. She does not smile, for her wishes seem impossible for now. But she can't help her eyes from shining with love.

**A/N**

**I don't own Vocaloid!**

**Kind of a word vomit . Sorry! I was inspired by a song... it was cool to write in Len's POV as well... Anyways, I promise that next week's will be longer and better! Thank you for reading!**

**Anyways~**

**Haruhi Hitachiin~**

**Thank you! I love tiny twins XD I'm glad I can help at all! Your reviews certainly make my day!**

**Guest~ Thank you! Well, I can imagine it seeming strange, but I was thinking about them often being thought of as "Mirror Images" So, if something happens to one, it also happens to the other... Also, their Vocaloids, so who knows about that craziness XD I think it's possible~**


	4. Alike

Len stared at his sister's arm. Without taking his eyes off it, he pulled up his sleeve to bare his own shoulder, and then leaned over to press the matching "02" tattoos together.

Rin looked over briefly from her game at his contact.

"What?" She asked at his strange motion. Len looked at her seriously, his eyes blank.

"We're the same." He stated. Rin snorted.

"No dip, Sherlock. The tattoos are supposed to be the same." She scoffed, returning her focus to the game.

Len put his hand over hers, which rested on the game controller.

"No, I mean me and you. We are the same." Rin paused the game and sighed, knowing her brother must have some important point if he was interrupting her.

She turned towards him to cup his face. "What are you talking about? You know we are not that identical." He sighed and she smiled. "Aww Len, did you get into Gakupo-Nii's special candy stash? I told you to stay away from there!" she teased. He swatted away her hands, his face pink.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm not stupid!" he huffed. She laughed, her voice like a bell and her hair ribbon swaying with her laughter.

"Don't be mad Lenny. You're just acting weird." She reassured, touching her fingertip to the top of his nose playfully. He sighed again, wishing she would just listen to him and be serious for once. Seeing his look, Rin pouted and crawled into his lap, laying her head on his chest.

"Rin…"

"I'm sorry. Talk, I'll listen." He looked down at her face, her blue eyes wide and open. He lifted his hand to press over her tattoo.

"We're the same." He said softly again. "Inside." She started to blush, but didn't understand why.

"Len, we are two different people. I mean, other than the fact that you're a boy, and I'm a girl, we have very different personalities and-" Len cut her off by placing his lips over hers. She blushed but returned his kiss.

When they pulled back, her face was scarlet as she whisked her head around, scanning the room. "Jeez Len, someone could have just walked in on us!" She hissed. He smiled.

"Would you say I'm shy, Rin?" He asked. She looked back at him, confused, but nodded her head.

"Sometimes. Mostly, I guess. Except when it's just you and me." She pondered. He smiled.

"Would you say that you are shy?" He asked her. She shook her head, frowning.

"Don't be silly! Of course I'm not!" He kissed her nose.

"Right now you're shy." He said. "You don't like others in your personal business, or our relationship. You're modest-"

"That's just sometimes!" Rin protested. "Everyone is too nosy anyways!" Len laughed this time.

"Would you say I'm very quiet and shota around you, when we are alone?" He asked, rolling his eyes at the hated term. She giggled slightly.

"Not really. More like Spice Len." She said, poking him in the ribs. He wrinkled his nose before laughing.

"You mean like you?" She stopped laughing and looked at him.

"Len. We are not exactly the same."

"Kinda. It's just at different times. We could both he described as loving, playful, shy, protective. Just depends on the when, where," he leaned closer, brushing their lips together. "And the who."

"I guess you have a point…" she murmured, caught up in the moment.

"Don't I always?" he replied, tightening his arms around her. Their shoulders brushed, and Len pulled back to look at them pointedly, taking his hand and tracing her mark.

"See. The same." Rin leaned forward to bury her head in his shoulder blade, and he re-wrapped his arms around her, holding her in the embrace lovingly.

"Len." She mumbled.

"Hm?" he replied.

"How come you like bananas best then?"

Len frowned. The thought of that had never occurred to him. Sure, oranges were nice, especially since they reminded him if Rin and her smell. But bananas… he was sure that they were the superior fruit, in every way he could think of. The only thing that was better than bananas was Rin.

He was stumped.

"Rin, are you sure you like oranges the best?" he asked hopefully.

"Hell yes." She retorted immediately. His brow furrowed.

"I guess we aren't exactly the same then." He admitted. She laughed.

"I can think of a few other things." She said dryly. "But right now, I really want on orange."

"Just because I mentioned them." He said, although he really wanted a banana at the moment.

"Anytime is a good time for an orange." She asserted, slipping off his lap back to the floor, returning to her game.

She raised an eyebrow, glancing back at her twin. "Well? You gonna get me one?" he gave her a look, and she sighed. "Please?"

"Sure, Princess." He replied smoothly, kissing her head and standing.

"Thank you!" She called as he padded to the kitchen, smiling to himself as he selected a banana and an orange from the refrigerator.

He looked at the orange questioningly while he peeled it. Maybe…

He tried a slice, and chewed it thoughtfully. It was ok, but certainly no banana. He dumped the peeled fruit into a bowl for Rin and grabbed his own fruit, thinking about it.

As he handed the bowl to Rin and settled back behind her so she leaned back against his chest, he smiled. If he had to choose between Rin and his bananas, he knew which one he would pick. Even if it meant only eating oranges forever.

**A/N**

**Cheesy, I know XD But I often think about the whole mirror images thing: Are they really opposites, or more similar than different? Personality wise~**

**Anyways, I know it's kinda short, but I've been working on my other RinxLen fic, so sorry!**

**But I'm grateful to all of you for reading, and I hope you like this one!**

**Anyways~**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ Don't feel bad! I often get into a bad habit where I never post! Sometimes, it's just not there...or I'm too lazy XD**


	5. Life

As I came out of it, I felt my legs shaking. I reached out and held onto the glass table as I awoke. It was a bad one this time.

I turned my head. Len, at my side, was in no better condition than I. he breathed heavily, leaning against the table for support. I saw his eyes dart to me through his bangs, and he shakily held out his hand.

I took it and tried to smile. Neither of us thought Corrupted Flower would be so hard.

We quickly recovered, but the ride home was quiet despite our joined hands. I stared out the window and laid my head on the glass, sighing.

Being a Vocaloid was hard, but I felt that me and Len had it worst. The way composer's used our bond was often like a stab in my heart.

You see, Len and I aren't human. We were Vocaloids, machines built to sing. But we had emotions, felt pain, all that a human could. We were also programmed with extremely special software.

When we were first created, an argument arose. Sure, we would have emotions, but we were still robots. We knew nothing of childhood, or getting older. Our minds were different than humans, our imaginations more limited. Would we be able to translate the appropriate amount and type of emotion for the songs we were created to sing?

So a solution was quickly found: Every time we sang a song, our minds would be taken back to the life of the song. We would live through the whole song, birth to death, unaware we were Vocaloids, singing, or anything. Anything was possible in a song, any world, any time, anyone. Choose your Vocaloid, adjust their personality limits and design, plunk them in the story and let them live it. While we lived it, the song would flow from our lips, caught by the recording studio we would be in.

It's hard to explain. It's like having lived multiple lives. When we performed Romeo and Cinderella, we were taken to a whole other life. I lived through being born an only child, living with my parents, meeting Len, running away from him, then living the rest of my life with him. For me, it was no story, no song. It was my life. When I came to, the song was completed. The videos released to the public usually only show a fraction of what we see.

To live through these things is often painful. There are happy songs, ok songs, and unhappy songs for those who live through them.

Songs like Adolescence, Romeo and Cinderella, and Canterella aren't so bad. Ones like World is Mine and Revolution are wonderful. And then there are the others.

Len and I, being mirror images, are often construed as twins, and in the composer's view; playing with our bond is creative. Not so fun for Len and I, but I know it creates emotional and good songs.

It's hard to remember that sometimes. It's very painful, and we are very affected by it, even here in reality.

After we recorded Soundless Voice and Proof of Life, Len wouldn't speak for three days. I was sad too, but in no way that he was. For me, the "life" ended with my death. For him, he lived on, alone for the rest of his life. A whole song of sadness. A whole life.

He would not be comforted, or even touched by anyone who wasn't me. He would hold me for hours, staring at nothing. I feared he wouldn't speak ever again. When he finally broke his silence, I was relived. He has only spoken of it a few times since then, it pains him so much. Apparently losing me is one of his worst fears.

I went through a similar episode after Story of Evil. Although everyone in the house was practically involved, I was the worst, but I dealt with it differently than Len.

I cried for days, reliving the loneliness and regret in my head constantly. I screamed with anger and pain, not understanding anything at all. I was so furious with myself; I had no idea how to handle it. I even got angry at Len.

"Why do you always have to protect me?" I exploded. "It was my fault! Mine!"

He took it quietly as I raged.

"I don't understand Len!" I yelled, pacing. "Why did you do it? Why?"

The lines of our lives are hard to see sometimes. What we do in and outside of the studio is confusing. But while it's true that the stories or "lives" were created by someone else, they cannot change our personalities very much, nor our appearances. It's what makes us special, and different from each other, so we Vocaloids aren't interchangeable.

Len looked at me clearly and smiled despite the intensity I had created.

"I'm sorry I can't give you what you want, Rinny, but it's my happy curse." He said softly. "It's a part of love, and it's a part of me."

He sucked the anger right out of me. My shoulders dropped, and I crawled into his lap silently. His arms came around me automatically, and I felt only more regret. I was angry at Len for saving my life? Selfish, just like in the song.

It was very hard to be angry at Len. Sometimes I wish I didn't understand him so well. He almost always is reasonable and makes perfect sense.

We've lived a hundred lives or more. Every trip to the studio is a bit apprehensive, because you never know what you'll get. Each song only lasts a few minutes for the rest of the world, but for the ones singing it, it's a lifetime, decades and decades. It's a hard life sometimes, but moments of happiness are rewarding, and sometimes sad songs lead into happiness, eventually.

Len likes to joke that maybe our reality, the time outside the studio, is just a song we don't know we're singing. That when the song is over, so will this life. I say he's crazy, but sometimes I wonder that to.

I look across the car to Len, who turns his head at the same time. He smiles at me, squeezing my hand. I smile back. If this is just a song, I hope it lasts long. As long as I'm with Len, I'm happy.

**A/N **

**This came from me pondering on what it would be like to be a Vocaloid. I guess it's a little hard to understand, but I thought it would be cool to live through every song they sang, but still live their regular lives outside of that...**

**So, I hope you guys get it! I plan on a good one next time, full of RinxLen looovvveee! So hope ya stick around XD**

**Anyways~**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloidforever~ I know right? XD**


	6. Mornings

Len opened his eyes, blinking rapidly against the sun. He inwardly groaned, but knew it was time to get up.

He felt the small warmth of Rin at his side, half of her draped over him as she always slept, curled up, resting on his chest. She was sleeping soundly.

"Hey Rinny, time to get up." He said, lightly shaking her. She groaned, burrowing her face into his side. Resisting as always. He kissed her forehead then her cheeks, making his way down to her lips. She wiggled a bit after his lips brushed hers, but would not rouse. Carefully, he picked her up and laid her beside him before sitting up, pushing the covers off himself. She cracked an eye, glaring. She hated waking up.

"What? I'm not making you get up yet. But when I get back, then you have to get ready. Ok?" She sighed and rolled over to his side, where he had just laid. He smiled and left for the bathroom.

Rin's eyes opened after he left, and she stretched lazily and yawned. She stared up at the window, damning the sun for making the day begin so soon. She snuggled under the blankets, knowing that soon she would have to leave their warmth. Len's pillow smelled nice, just like him. She inhaled deeply, enjoying it in his absence. But he would return.

Len ambled back into their room, closing the door behind himself. He sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing Rin's hair gently. She made a happy sound, enjoying the affection gesture. Len was always sweet to her, even when waking her up.

"C'mon Rin." He prodded. She rolled over and he reached underneath the covers to lift her up. She blinked sleepily and yawned again before resting her head on Len's shoulder. He kissed her forehead before walking to the closet.

"Len… can't we skip today?" Rin whined, slipping out of their bed. Len smiled to himself as he put a new shirt over his bare chest. He turned to see Rin standing there, head cocked and hand on her hip. He shook his head. She pouted, dismayed that he wouldn't want to spend the day with her.

"Why not? We could climb back into bed…sleep some more…" Len felt an urge strike through him, but he merely handed Rin her own clothes. She grimaced and began to undress.

Trying not to stare, Len opened their dresser drawer, searching for a hair band. Once he had found his, Rin had grabbed the hair brush. She sat down on the bed and patted the spot in front of her.

He sat, and she ran the brush through his hair quickly but smoothly, expertly capturing his golden locks up into the band he handed her. When she had finished, she leaned down to quickly kiss him on the cheek. He reached behind her and turned, demanding a real kiss. She obliged, but eventually pulled back to brush her own hair with a sigh.

After her own hair had been pulled back into her bow and pins, she examined herself in the mirror. She frowned, wondering if she should have put a little more work into her appearance every morning. Len looked up from his bag, which he had been checking.

He walked up behind her, sliding his arms around her waist.

"Looking beautiful, sister." He murmured. She smiled and turned.

"Not too bad yourself, Nii-san." She replied, winking before walking to the bathroom. Len watched her go and smiled.

When Rin returned, Len handed her her bag and she laced her arms around him, resting her chin on his chest.

"Sure we can't stay home?" She pleaded. He sighed, and she did too, already knowing his answer. Grabbing her hand, he led her down the stairs into the kitchen.

The rest of the Vocaloids were gathered around a small TV. Meiko turned to the twins.

"Guess what?" She said, smiling slyly. "No school today. Ice on the roads!" Miku cheered beside her, and Rin squealed.

"Really?" She asked excitedly, bouncing on her toes with newfound energy. Meiko nodded. Rin swirled around to head right back up the stairs, tugging Len behind her.

"Rin?" He asked. She stopped on the steps to beam down at him.

"We're going back to sleep!" She announced happily. Len smiled and shook his head, deciding that even sleeping away a day off would be ok. Rin just smiled happily to herself, glad Meiko was easily paid off.

**A/N**

**Sorry this is so short/late. I've been working really hard on my other story now that it's in full swing!**

**Either way, I thought this was funny, even if it is short. How Rin is is how I am every morning, and how Len is is the responsible voice in my head.**

**I like writing it so Rin wins, the tricky girl :D**

**Anyways~**

**Invader Elze~ That is a much better title! I like it XD Thank you!**

**Lizzy '-' rocks~ Aw thank you! My mind is just a strange place XD Sorry for the late update!**

**So thanks to everyone for reading! It's appreciated! **


	7. Sleep

Rin cried. Len scowled and swallowed back his own tears. Meiko sighed.

She knew it might be a mistake, but Meiko had already decided. The twins would get their own bedrooms.

Having shared a bed since birth, they weren't quite ecstatic, but Meiko was stubborn. They were simply too old, and needed to gain some independence. Len was shy and withdrawn without Rin, and Rin cried and ran to Len for everything that went wrong. They didn't play with other kids, and were simply strange. For the good of the Vocaloids, somebody had to cut the cord.

At eight, the two were inseparable, and at the moment, miserable. Len tried to keep it in as he held his sobbing twin, but his eyes shone with defiant tears as they he watched his things being moved into his new room.

Rin cried openly, only wanting her brother. If Kaito came to try and comfort her, she screamed. She clung to Len, not being able to imagine being separated. How was she going to fall asleep?

Len tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The only thing that pained him more than this was Rin's reaction, crying like this. He wished she would be happy.

Meiko grew more stubborn as the twins grew more upset. Kaito was hesitantly backing her up in this matter, but she knew that a few hard nights were ahead of them.

When night did dawn, Len walked Rin to her room. Meiko stopped them in the hall.

"Len, you sleep in your room now." She said firmly. Len pursed his lips and nodded darkly.

"I'm just saying goodnight." He told her. She sighed and nodded them on, calling back that she would check on them in ten minutes.

Len and Rin walked to their old bed. Len nudged Rin, urging her to crawl in. He didn't, just tucked the covers clumsily around her.

"Len…" Rin whimpered. He smoothed her hair.

Rin swallowed hard, but tears came to her eyes and she pulled him into a hug, refusing to relinquish her hold.

"Rin." Len started. Rin began to cry.

"Don't leave me…" She cried. He sighed as he tried to hold back his own tears.

"Here, let me go. I'll give you a goodnight kiss."

Rin brightened; she had seen that on TV. It made her feel a little better, so she let her hands slide from his neck.

Len straightened for a moment and frowned, concentrating. Then he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers. It was a soft, quick kiss, but it made them both feel warm.

Rin smiled as he stood. "Will you give me one every night?" she wheedled. He nodded, embarrassed.

She squealed and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. He gave her a small smile.

"Goodnight." He told her somberly. "I love you."

"Goodnight," She replied. "I love you too."

Len left, and Rin was left only with the glow of the nightlight. Instantly, she missed Len.

Tossing and turning, she found the bed too empty and too cold. She was tired, but the ache of missing her brother filled her completely, draining her. She cried, but knew she would be in trouble if she went to Len. Sobbing into her pillow, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

Len on the other hand, found himself wide awake. His body was too nervous, his brain too alert. He missed his warm sister, and found the whole new room displeasing. It missed something. He wanted to go back to Rin. He bet she was crying.

He wanted to cry to, but he was a man. Kaito didn't cry. Men didn't cry. Not even in sad parts of movies.

But his chest hurt, and he wanted Rin. He missed her sorely. She was only a wall away, but he couldn't rest without her. So he sighed and grabbed his small flashlight, grabbing his book where he left off. Might as well read.

On the other side of the wall, Rin awoke from a nightmare. Her skin crawled and felt covered in a sheen of cold sweat. This didn't happen often, but when it did she usually turned to Len.

Feeling panicked, she leapt out of bed as if there were something on her heels. She wasn't going to stay in that empty bed any longer; she wanted her twin.

She burst into her twin's room and ran across the floor, leaping onto his bed.

Luckily, Len was still quite awake and saw this coming as soon as he saw her. She landed and began crying, so Len immediately took her into a tight hug.

"Don't cry." He whispered. "I'm here."

"A nightmare." She sobbed. "I was scared."

He rubbed her back. "Just sleep with me. Meiko can't yell if you had a nightmare."

Relieved, she crawled under his covers and held onto him tightly. He didn't mind, because he was suddenly very tired, so tired that he fell asleep almost instantly.

Meiko glared at the sleeping pair. After finding Rin's bed empty, she came across the two in Lens bed, exactly where she thought they'd be, snuggled up together like puppies.

She whisked the covers off them. Rin groaned and moved closer to Len, But Len woke up at once, blinking sleepily.

"You two know you were supposed to sleep in your own rooms!" Meiko scolded. Len glared at her as Rin woke up.

"Rin had a nightmare!" He argued, placing a hand on her arm protectively. Rin nodded stubbornly, yawning.

Meiko scowled. "I don't care. Rin needs to learn to get over it and go back to sleep!"

Lens face darkened, and Meiko panicked. Arguing with Len was just as bad as arguing with Rin when he got worked up.

"You two will be grounded if this happens again!" She shouted, and marched out of the room. Len's mouth dropped and Rin burst into tears.

That night, the twins hid. Grabbing their pillows, they settled themselves behind the couch quite comfortably and settled in for the night. Unfortunately, Kaito went looking for the remote and discovered them.

Meiko ordered them each to bed, but Rin put her foot down.

"No." She said; her spine straight and tall as if her small frame was made of steel. Meiko glared her down.

"Go to your bed right now." Meiko tried in a scary voice, determined not to be done in by an eight year old. But Rin thrust her lip out and glared fiercer than before.

"No!" She screamed. Meiko's face darkened.

"That's it!" she cried. "Kaito, you get Len and keep him in his room! I'll handle Rin."

Len stood in front of Rin to protect her, but Kaito whisked him up and threw him over his shoulder. Len struggled and yelled.

"Sorry." Kaito said apologetically.

Rin began to scream bloody murder as soon as Len disappeared. Meiko barreled towards her, but Rin ran screaming after Len. Meiko caught her up from behind and carried the sobbing, screaming girl to her room.

Rin pulled her hair, beat against Meiko's shoulder and thrashed like she was a fish to slaughter. But somehow they made it into Rin's room, where she was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor.

Meiko barred herself against the door as Rin flew at her, scratching and fighting to get out.

"Rin stop!" Meiko shrieked, but Rin would not quit. When it was clear she could not get through, she threw herself to the floor and bawled, crying Len's name over and over again.

In the other room, Len shook and trembled with his sister's every scream. Every cell in his body ached to go to her, to ease her pain, which was his own. He eventually gave in and sobbed against Kaito's shoulder, trying to ease the hurt. Kaito sympathetically patted the small boy's back, silently praying Meiko would just give up.

Rin cried and screamed for two hours until she fell asleep on the floor, exhausted. Meiko didn't dare touch her in fear of waking the demon.

Len was still awake despite being tucked in by Kaito. He wouldn't rest until he saw Rin, to make sure she was alright. After a few moments of deliberation, Kaito let him go.

Len quietly opened his sister's door and ran to her. He knelt to her limp body and tenderly smoothed her night shirt.

Kaito leaned against the door frame and watched Len carefully as Len dragged a blanket off the bed to cover up his twin. The gently, he bent down and gave Rin a small kiss, her goodnight kiss.

After wiping the tears off his face, he returned soberly to the door where Kaito led him away. Len was as exhausted as Rin was, so he fell asleep quickly after being reassured.

The next morning Kaito tried to talk to Meiko.

"It's not working. You know how stubborn they are, and if anything they've become even more exclusive." He added, nodding to the twins. They sat in the corner of the room, Rin sleeping with her thumb in her mouth and Len reading. Their hands were held fast, and they were sullen to anyone who came near them.

Meiko frowned. "They just have to get used to it." She insisted. Kaito sighed but let it go. Just another sleepless night, he suspected.

And it was.

It started with the new bedtime routine. Rin screamed for a while, but eventually Len convinced her to go to bed. He just couldn't listen to her in so much pain again.

He tucked her in with Meiko eyeing them suspiciously from the doorway.

"Len." Meiko said warningly, but Len frowned at her.

"Come on." Kaito murmured, leading Meiko away. "It'll be fine."

Len returned to Rin, who was already beginning to cry.

"Shh, don't cry." He whispered. But Rin grabbed onto him and sobbed.

"Len…I miss you. I can't sleep without you." She cried. He nodded and held her tight.

"Here Rin, let go for a second." She obeyed, and he slid off his shirt and gave it to her. She looked at it, confused for a moment.

Len shifted awkwardly. "For you to sleep with." He explained.

Rin sniffed it delicately, feeling the worn fabric. It smelled just like Len.

She clutched it to her tightly. "Thank you." She sniffed.

Len smiled, glad she was comforted. Rin looked up.

"Do you want my shirt too?" She asked innocently, ready to peel off the garment.

Len flushed and shook his head. "I'll take this one." He said quickly, grabbing one from the dresser.

Rin nodded, but held her hand out. Len gave her his and she squeezed it tightly.

"Close your eyes so I can give you your kiss." Len ordered. Rin did, fluttering them down like butterfly wings.

Len leaned down and kissed her softly as he did before.

"Good night." He whispered. "I love you."

Rin opened her eyes. "Good night." She answered. "I love you too."

His hand slipped away, and he left, wiping his teary eyes furiously with his bare arm. He felt a little lost standing alone in the hallway, wishing his sister was at his side.

Despite having Len's shirt, Rin cried herself to a dreamless sleep. Len couldn't sleep, so he read by the dim light of his flashlight.

A few hours flew by when the first crack of thunder was heard. Len jumped in his skin, surprised. He paused and listened for a moment, then rushed to his window.

Another loud boom of thunder vibrated the glass, and lightning illuminated the outside world for a split moment. As Len looked out, he saw rain begin to pelt the ground. He swallowed hard.

Rin hated thunderstorms, and Len liked them only slightly more than she did. He felt fear grip his heart coldly, and he let the curtain fall as he retreated back into his bed.

He wanted to go to Rin, wanting comfort and fearing she would awaken and cry. Perhaps she already had. But Len feared Meiko more, so he stayed put.

In the other room, Rin did wake up, startled by the booming thunder. She shivered and gulped back a sob as she searched blindly for Lens shirt.

Upon finding it, she thrust it to her face, burying her face into it as she cried. She knew she wasn't supposed to go to Len, but her heart beat fast and scared.

In his room, Len could practically feel himself shaking, so he leapt out of bed. He would go to Kaito and ask him if he could sleep with Rin. Kaito would be more willing than Meiko, and hopefully he would understand.

Rin couldn't take it either, but she was afraid to even leave her bed. She was fearful of the things the dark held, so she stayed in bed a little longer.

Unfortunately her fears and longing for Len overtook the dark, so she ran to Lens room. Finding him gone, she assumed he went to the bathroom so she buried herself in his covers and waited for him. However, wrapped in the warmth of Len's bed with the reassurance that he would be back with her soon, she fell asleep.

Len woke Kaito.

"Len?" Kaito mumbled, confused. Len nodded, holding back a small sob.

"It's a thunderstorm. Please can I sleep with Rin?" he asked hurriedly, eyes darting around the dark.

Kaito let out an exasperated sigh. This was all Meiko's fault. Her and her dumb ideas.

He patted Len on the head. "Can't you sleep on your own?" he asked hopefully. Len shook his head fast back and forth.

"Well, what if you and I just check on Rin? Will that make you feel better?"

Len didn't think it would, but it wouldn't hurt. Maybe if Rin was awake as well they could both convince him.

So they headed down the hall together, hand in hand. But when they saw Rin's empty bed, Len panicked.

"Rin's gone!" he shrieked. Kaito calmly looked in the closet and under the bed. No Rin.

Kaito ran his hand through his hair. This was really getting out of hand, and he just wanted to go back to sleep.

"Go get Meiko, tell her Rin's missing." He told Len.

Len ran down the hall way and shoved the door of Meiko's room open.

"Wake up!" he cried, and Meiko glared at him through sleepy eyes.

"What in the world?!"

Len suddenly began to sob. "You made us sleep apart and we hated it so now she's scared and is gone!" Len wept.

Meiko groaned. Why, why, why was Rin so difficult?

Meiko hauled herself out of bed and led the sobbing boy down the hallway. Kaito met them outside Rin's room, for the commotion had also woken up Miku and Gakupo as well.

Miku, ten, pouted as she took the scene in. "Why can't it ever be quiet around here?" She announced, stomping her small foot. Gakupo just stared out of half-lidded eyes.

"Rin's missing, have you seen her?" Kaito asked. They shook their heads and Len sobbed.

"Hey, don't cry buddy." Kaito said, picking him up. Len sobbed against his shirt and beat his fists angrily.

"You did this to Rin." He bawled, pointing at Meiko. "She's run away because of you!"

Meiko put her hands to her face and inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to think straight.

"Ok, Kaito, you and Gaku check outside. Miku, go back to bed. I'll look downstairs. Len, why don't you wait here in case she comes back."

Len's face furrowed as Kaito placed him on the floor. After they dispersed, he checked Rin's room once more.

"Rin?" he called quietly, hoping she was just hiding. But she wasn't.

Tearfully Len returned to his room. He ran across the carpet and onto the bed, but as he landed he heard a small squeal.

Suddenly there were two small figures in the bed. Rin flailed, throwing off Len and the blankets.

"Ow!" She cried once she was free.

Seeing her, Len stood still for a single moment before launching himself at her, hugging her as tight as he could. Rin gasped, vying for air.

"Len!" She tried, but he only loosened his grip a small fraction as tears ran down his face.

"You scared me." He scolded, muffled by her. Rin cluelessly hugged him back, just glad he had returned.

They parted, but Len held onto Rin firmly as if she were to vanish.

"Where did you go Rin?" He asked.

Rin frowned. "I've been here. Where did you think I was?"

Len stared at her for a long moment, processing this. Of course. She had been here!

"I thought you were hiding or had run away…when I saw your room was empty…"

Rin hugged him, rubbing her cheek against his comfortingly.

"I would never go anywhere without you." She said sweetly.

Len sighed with relief, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Well, let's sleep, ok?"

She nodded, but suddenly grabbed his hand.

"Wait." She halted. "I need a kiss."

Len flushed in the dark. "I already gave you one." He protested.

Rin pressed her face into lens shoulder blade, hugging him extra tight.

He sighed. "Ok." He relinquished.

She let go, sitting up and waiting. He leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to hers for a moment before withdrawing hastily.

"Go to sleep." He commanded, and they lay down together.

Rin snuggled into his arms. "I love you, goodnight." She whispered.

"I love you too." Len replied. "Night."

After an hour of searching, Meiko and Kaito went up to Len's room to check on him and to tell him they were calling the police since Rin was still missing.

However, when Meiko opened the door, she found the two sleeping like angels, curled up into each other. She gasped, and then sharp relief flowed through her veins.

She closed the door and turned to Kaito.

"They are both in there sleeping!" She exclaimed quietly.

Kaito's eyes widened. "So she was in Len's room?" He asked incredulously. She nodded, and then her face turned dark.

"I bet they did this on purpose!" She hissed, but Kaito held her back from storming in there.

"Meiko, I think it's time to give up." He whispered. "So at least we can get some sleep!"

Meiko opened her mouth to angrily retort, but she thought of the scene she had just witnessed. They were so happy, sleeping together like they were meant to. Was it really so bad?

She let out an exasperated sigh and swept her eyes to the door and back again. "Fine." She muttered. "I'm exhausted anyways."

Kaito smiled widely, thoroughly relieved. As Meiko marched back to her room, he looked towards Len's door, wondering if they even knew how much trouble they had caused.

**A/N**

**Hey guys! So sorry it's been so long. College is busy and I've been working on my other story. I hope you liked this though! I have a few more I'm working on, so don't worry. I'll be updating still, just less frequently. Sorry :( The rating may change though, so if you just look for the update because you haven't followed or whatever, keep that in mind! **

**Anyways...**

**Invader Elze~ Thank you! I try, they are mostly just random XD**

**Cookiexo~ Of course I do! Heehee~ Aw thanks! I'm just thankful you read at all XD**

**I definitely have morning issues like Rin XD I don't even talk in the mornings XD They say to write about what you know! **

**Thanks! I love a sweet Len TAT**

**This one is kinda like the last... I need to be more original TAT**

**Rilenchan3700~ Thanks! Me too XD I love days off~**

**TheSapphireRose~ Thank you TAT You're so sweet! I'm glad you liked~**

**RinlDvoc~ Thanks! heehehe maybe they were owo**

**Sourpatchkid03~ Thank you! I shall~**


	8. King

It was very peaceful, floating like this. No cares, no feelings, no sound except the light swish of water moving slowly. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, enjoying the freedom.

I suddenly felt two hands on my waist and gasped, eyes flying open at the touch as I was lifted out of the water.

"I am the strongest!" Len shouted as he rose from the water beneath me. I sputtered and wiggled.

"Len!" I screamed. I heard him laugh as he lowered me into a cradling position in his arms. He grinned at me.

"I was being the strongest." He announced proudly. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"So glad to hear you can lift a small seventeen year old girl." I scoffed. He still smiled, unfazed.

I wiggled again. We were swimming in one of the biggest pools in the palace that we called home to. Marble tiles lined the salt water-filled cavern, and marble pillars rose from the center. At the base of the pillars was seating that went completely around it.

We didn't swim here often, for it was hard to get away, for Len and I were the prince and Princess of this hot country, next in line to the throne, which was currently being held by our uncle. Our own parents had gone to the next realm long ago when we were children. We had lived here for almost as long as we can remember. At first it was fine, and we had lots of freedom, but not anymore. We were too old, and our uncle was too frail for us to be able to stray or disappear from watchful eyes that occupied our castle.

Being twins, Len and I both had hold on the throne legally, until our uncle appointed an heir. It would mostly likely Len, since he was the boy. My future would be uncertain, but…

"If you don't tell me what you're thinking, I'll dunk you." Len teased, pulling me from my thoughts.

I scowled. "I'll scream, and then they'll find us. Would you like that?" Len snorted.

We had slipped away today because it had simply been too hot. We really could have done so without having to be sneaky, but I didn't really feel like having half a dozen people lolling around, scrutinizing us. And Len and I liked to have time alone anyways.

Easily forgetting his thoughts of dunking me, he hummed happily while gently carrying me around the pool, both of us drifting around the water. I sighed and dipped my head back into the coolness, relishing in it. I knew Len probably wouldn't dunk me anyways. Then he'd have to face my wrath.

"Hold your breath." Len suddenly said.

"What?" I exclaimed, taking a breath as he tugged us both under the water.

Underneath the water, he released me, but grabbed my hands. I opened my eyes and through the water, saw him smile. Our fingers intertwined tightly, and we burst through the surface.

I laughed and gasped. It was fun to see Len so playful, he was usually so serious. He tossed his head to move his wet hair from his eyes, but failed. I glided over to him and moved it for him.

He slipped his hands on my waist and smiled at me. I felt my cheeks get hot.

You see, Len and I may be just twins, but we were very close. I loved him, perhaps even more than a brother. But I do not speak of it. Such a thing is…embarrassing! It used to be custom to have siblings marry each other, as is tradition. It also kept the blood pure and kept our country's princesses close rather than marry them all off. But I don't even know if Len has such strong feelings.

That is why my future is so uncertain. If Len becomes king, he may want to keep me close, as an advisor and because we are bonded so tightly. But when he marries, his wife could easily fill such a role, if she was educated enough. In most cases I would be simply married off, to gain more land. But I once spoke of it to Len, and his reaction was not as expected.

"That's ridiculous, Rin." He had fumed. We had been lying on his bed, taking a break from having our portrait painted. Because of our simultaneous births, we were painted together. Because it was so important, I was dressed in a lavender gown, sheer with a white toga underneath. There was a lot of fabric draped around me, only to be gathered by the gold sash around my waist. I had slipped off my thin leather sandals as we talked.

"How so?" I demanded. His face grew redder, from frustration, I presumed. He was dressed elegantly as well, with gold thread woven throughout his shirt.

"Because! Who says I'm going to get married? And just replace you? I think not, sister." I sighed. Len wasn't thinking very sensibly.

"You know it will happen." I replied, rolling from my side over onto my back to stare at his canopy. He was beside me, sitting propped up by some pillows, my head in his lap. But now he leaned forward to look at me.

"I don't think so." He firmly stated. I would have come up with some retort, but he seemed very confident in his view, so I let it drop. But why?

Now, I blushed because I was very thinly clothed, in a thin white shift that really didn't cover anything when wet. He wore no shirt, only bottoms.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and clutched him tightly. I could hear his heartbeat.

I loved my twin. Len was my best friend, my constant companion, and the only person who seemed to care about me.

How long would this last?

Suddenly, there was the sound of leather sandals slapping the marble floors. As they came closer, my heart beat faster, for they were the sound of urgency.

Len and I pulled away from each other, but kept one pair of hands connected. I ducked somewhat behind Len, for it could be anyone.

An olive skinned servant ran in, panting. Len's back straightened as we stood in the water.

"What do you say?" Len said powerfully. "We do not want to be interrupted."

I bit my tongue to keep from smiling. Len and both knew that we weren't supposed to have snuck off to swim today, but Len acted as if it was his right to be here.

"Sire," the servant gasped. "Your uncle, he has died!" I gasped, and Len's hand tightened on mine.

"It can't be true." Len whispered, his voice echoing throughout the tiled room.

The servant dropped to his knees, startling both Len and I. He then began bowing to the pair of us from the side of the water.

"Your imperial highness." The servant murmured over and over. I suddenly realized it. He was pledging his loyalty to Len. Since he was the male, he was king. Len was king, a reincarnation of a god. My brother, ruler of all.

I dropped his hand and awkwardly sunk down into the water, giving a sort of bow.

"Your highness." I murmured, but Len caught my arm.

"Don't do that." He hissed. I blanched. Len glanced at the kowtowing servant then turned back to me.

He looked into my eyes, his own as blue as the water we were in.

"Not you. Don't you act like I'm different." I stared back at him, a little confused.

He ran his hands through his hair. "Soon, everyone will be doing that." He gestured to the servant. "Putting me on an untouchable pedestal. It's lonely there, Rin. Don't leave me there alone. Don't act different."

I paused for a moment than smoothed a piece of his wet hair back. He leaned into my touch.

"You'll always be my brother, my twin." I told him, with a small degree of sadness.

He looked confused at the note of sadness in my voice, but the sound of voices echoed down the hall. Len began pulling me towards the edge.

"Later." He mumbled to me as we emerged from the pool, dripping wet. Suddenly people burst in, having heard of our location and began to bow at Len's feet. I gave my brothers hand a squeeze and slipped out into the hallway, leaving him so he could release them.

Now I mentioned that me and my brother were close. We shared a womb, after all. But we were even closer than most thought.

Although we had had separate bedchambers since we were young, it is safe to say that we often slept in the same bed. His or mine, one of us slipped into the others bed. Perhaps it was a twin thing, but it was much easier to sleep with the others presence. Even just the warmth of his hand in mine was lulling enough for me to fall asleep.

It was a secret we shared, but it was becoming a mystery to me as of late.

Why was Len bothering with me? Most men at our age took women into their beds. Not really to sleep, but… why wasn't Len doing the same? It was not uncommon for even married men to take mistresses and even second wives. Kings always took more than one wife, for more chances at heirs.

Now that he was the ruler of all, I thought that maybe now he would start looking for a wife. He was urged by the priests to take a wife. Even I did not seek him out in the nights, to give him space. But he did not search for a wife, and he continued to sleep in my bed.

I didn't bring this up with him, for I thought perhaps he'd be angered again. It was not really my place. But now that Len was king, I was alone in my days. I missed him, and I was desperate to know.

What was my place? I was no longer a child, and I was lonely. Would he marry me off or what? I had no job, no seeming purpose. Len was busy for most of his time, and I was horribly bored and tentative.

I decided to finally brave the grounds of the subject.

Len knocked quietly at my door, three times in a distinct pattern. I nodded to a slave, and she let him in. Then I waved her away, leaving us alone.

Len walked to my perch on the sofa and kissed my cheek softly.

"Good evening Rin." He greeted me courtly. I smiled at him.

"Good evening." I replied. Len went to lounge on the bed, and I got up to join him.

I sat on the edge next to where he lay.

I licked my lips and crossed my ankles delicately. "Len." I started.

He flicked those gorgeous eyes at me and I hesitated. Seeing my chagrin, Len sat up and pulled me to him.

"What's wrong?" He pressed. "Are you upset?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes, just enjoying the moment. Then I took a deep breath.

"Why are you here, Len?" I asked in a rush.

Len froze, then pulled back from me. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

He was stricken, as if I had slapped him. I realized my words and hurried to clarify.

"No! I'm glad you're here. But… why do you not take a wife?" I questioned, my face turning pink. But once I started, I couldn't stop.

"Why do you come here every night when you could have a wife? Or even a mistress? You could have anyone." I added. "I don't even know what you want from me Len. If you're going to marry me off, why prolong it? I am just a purposeless princess."

Len had a funny look on his face, so my words slowed.

"What am I here for Len?" I whispered. "Why do you hesitate to tell me?"

A long moment of silence followed. Len cleared his throat and tried to speak, but the words fell from his lips. Finally, he sat by me and took my hand.

His eyes looked away, towards the corner of the room. "Rin… I apologize for making you so uneasy." He began.

I sat quietly, waiting.

"If that is truly what is on your mind, then I can assure you of a few things…" I perked up.

"Firstly, I won't marry you off to anyone. If you desire a husband, say the word. Anyone you want." He said softly. He looked to me for a moment. "Is there?"

I almost giggled, but instead bit my lip and shook my head. A ridiculous notion. The men around here were either warriors or old men. I desired no dead husband or old man.

Len gave a queer sound; like one that is relieved. But he continued before I could remark.

"And… You most definitely have a purpose. Or at least, one in my mind, if you want it."

"What?" I asked, ready to know. Len looked away again.

"You… You could be my wife."

I was never more surprised in my life. His wife? Married…to Len?

Our religion is very unique. The gods and goddesses are all worshiped by temples and priests or priestesses of their own. The two greatest gods, those who are basically life and death itself, are the most sacred. The kings and queens on the throne are considered reincarnations of the two.

The holy texts say that they were married, and held the holiest of titles: Husband-Wife, God-Goddess, and Brother-Sister. They were siblings.

So it is considered tradition for the people in our royal family to marry their siblings and rule jointly. Some in every aspect, other in only name. Which is why mistresses and such are considered appropriate. But it has fallen a little out of style.

So really, I shouldn't have been so surprised. Such a thing was definitely heard of, a holy tradition. But the way my brother was looking at me did not signify a deep love of tradition and wanting to honor it.

I gave a little gasp and stood to face my twin.

"Is…is that the reason you do not bed another woman? That you sleep with me?" I exclaimed.

Len flushed, and I was reminded again how he was simply himself. It was as he wished: I saw him not as a god, but as my brother, my friend. Perhaps more?

"Yes." Len said quickly. "But you don't have to, Rin."

I threaded my hands through my hair and cradled my head that way, as to stop the flying thoughts in my mind.

Finally, I turned to him.

"Do…Do you love me, Len?" I asked, my voice trembling.

Len balled his hands into fists. They were shaking ever so slightly. Then he thrust his chin up to look at me.

"I do." He said firmly, his eyes daring me on.

My hand flew to my breast bone, and I walked shakily to him.

I met his intense gaze and lifted my chin.

"I…I think I love you too." I admitted, and I did. Just the feel of the space between us was electrifying and frightening. I wanted this.

Lens eyes lit up, and his arms went out. He pulled me to him, and crushed his lips to mine.

Shocked at first, I soon closed my eyes and sunk into it. I felt myself become hotter and hotter as the passion increased and increased to an exploding point, and we both gasped for air.

Len held me close in his arms still, and smiled at me. Through his breaths, he told me:

"I've wanted to do that for a while now…" I would have blushed, but Len kissed me again.

We were married and I was proclaimed queen. As a gift to me, Len gave me a few of our best provinces form very own to rule over. As a smaller gift, he also gave me a beautiful necklace with a diamond the same color as our eyes.

Most significant though, Len gave me himself. He never took another wife, even though it was custom for kings to take multiple. But I was always the only woman in his life, and he my only man. We had three beautiful children, a pair of twins and a younger daughter. Someday, one of our own children may take the throne. Until then, we continue to rule over this great land, making it prosperous and great.

**A/N**

**This was based off of the customs of Ancient Egypt, which I have always been interested in. It is true that two of their most mentioned gods, Isis and Osiris were siblings and married. They had a son. It was custom for siblings to marry and rule jointly, all the way up to Cleopatra, the last Ptolemaic ruler. She herself was married to her brother, but he was a kid and a real brat. He was killed off. Anyways, the idea for this stemmed from Cleopatra's own children: She too had twins, Cleopatra Selene and Alexander Helios (Moon and Sun, isn't that cute?). Their father was Marc Antony of the second roman triumvirate. So of course I wondered what it would be like if Rin and Len were heirs to the Ancient Egyptian throne. So yea, I didn't just make all of it up, a lot of it is history XD**

**I feel like that was a bad ending... sorry D:**

**Anyways, a few things I should mention:**

**1. I'm super hyped up right now about the election, sorry XD I really want President Obama to win. I'm NOT a big political person, but it's all exciting.**

**2. The next chapter will be very kind of... intense. Spoiler, it's about rape. So it will be rated M, even though there isn't really that much graphicness... but anyways, if you do not want to read about that, don't read the next chapter! It will also be the first of two parts, so its pretty long. So anyways, I just wanted to warn you guys. I do take the subject of rape very seriously, especially since I am a woman, and am no way insensitive to it. So I apologize if um...any of you guys think that? So yea. Fair warning. Will most likely be posted next week.**

**Anyways, I have to go write a research paper and get ready to register for classes tomorrow... so much to do! Hope you enjoy.**

**Blantantlyorangetiger~ Aw, thanks! You're so sweet TAT I will! I'm so glad you enjoy them TAT *hugs***

**Cookiexo~ Haha XD You're too funny darlin~ MANLY TEARS, THE ONLY KIND LEN HAS :D i really like this one too, just thought it was one of my cuter ones ^o^ Plus, I love the twins as kids! Young loveeeee wooo! Ahaha, I've usually portrayed Meiko as the reluctant breaker up of the pair. She always just seems like the bad unwilling matriarch to me XD She means well. But yea, Miku is totally evil muhaha. Waaah, I will update BF... tomorrows gonna be a big chapter! The night of sadness TAT You'll see...**

**AyutaYutyl~ Thank you! I try! You're sweet :'D Ah, thanks! I didn't expect that one to be so well received, it was just something random I came up with. But yea, I really imagined that when I thought about the songs... some fics portray them as humans, or as cyborg-robots sort of things, so I kind of went from there... I'm glad you liked it! **

**ScarperTheTheif9~ Thank you! I'm glad you like them TAT I wish I could update more frequently! I know, same here! A lot of hardships for the sweet twins TAT**


	9. Broken

**This story contains rape. I take the subject very seriously, and hope no one is offended. You have been warned.**

**Part One**

Meiko POV

I grabbed the phone on the first ring.

"Where. ARE YOU?" I growled into the plastic. It had been fifteen minutes and Kaito was STILL not back with my Sake, the bastard.

"Excuse me?" Said an unfamiliar voice. I immediately straightened, and listened closer.

"Sorry, thought you were someone else." Look at the caller ID Meiko, the caller ID. The man cleared his throat.

"I'm calling from the West Hospital. We have Rin Kagamine, and I suggest you come down straight away." Time stopped as I processed the words.

"What? Rin? What's wrong, is she ok?!" Luka, who was sitting on the couch, stood up at my spill of words.

"She's… fine, but we suggest you come down." The man said awkwardly. I pressed the phone closer to my ear a turned away from Luka.

"Please… tell me what happened. So I can prepare." I begged. Rin… I could see her face now. Cute girl, a mischievous, bright sort of face. Rin was almost always with Len, her twin and boyfriend, although they were much closer and intense than any other couples I knew. Rin was a happy girl, although a bit too loud on my hung over days. Where had she gone today? I couldn't remember.

The man paused before speaking in a gentle, sad voice. "She was raped tonight, Ma'am. I'm sorry."

I froze before a wave of pain and understanding washed over me, bathing me in its filth. I choked for air.

"Who? Who did this? Rin… Oh no. no." Luka was now facing me, trying to meet my eyes for understanding. I put my mouth away from the receiver.

"Get everyone in the car." Her eyes widened and she rushed off, leaving me and the phone alone.

"We have specific DNA from the perpetrator, and she has had to be drugged so she could rest. When she was awake, she was hysterical."

"D-does she need anything? Will we be able to take her home?" I asked, hand gripping the counter tightly. Who would do this? Why? Why Rin?

"Yes, we've already done the tests, you can take her home. But… when she was awake, she asked for someone named Len. Perhaps…?"

The thought of Len smacked me in the face. He would be devastated, furious, who knows. This would kill him; he and Rin were so tightly wound together, loved each other like the moon and the sun. And Rin… I couldn't imagine her pain.

Luka rushed into the kitchen, ushering Teto and Miku towards the garage, both alarmed. She closed the door after starting the car. Gakupo and Kaito were out; we'd deal with them later.

"Please, if she wakes up… tell her we love her and we are coming." I say, my voice cracking. I hang up the phone and stand in pure shock and silence before meeting Luka's eyes.

"Rin was raped." I uttered, the words like poison, the horror washing over Luka's face, her hands coming up and tears gathering in her eyes.

"Oh no…" Luka covered her mouth in horror. Her eyes grew angry. "Who?"

"They don't know yet, but she's at the hospital, we need to go." Luka nodded tightly, and I followed her out.

Luka drove, and I fished out my cellphone from my purse.

"Kaito, pick up…" I murmured. Finally, a click.

"I'm on my way." Kaito grumbled, still talking about the sake.

"Forget it." I snapped. "Listen, I need you to find Len and keep him out of the house for the next four hours, understand?"

"What?" Kaito sputtered. I sighed and glared at the car in front of us. _Hurry up._

"Kai, Rin has been raped, and we are all heading to the hospital now. Len can't know, or he would freak out, and I don't want to alarm Rin. So can you two please just distract him until we get her settled and can tell him?"

"Jesus… Rin… Of course we can. Where is he? Is she going to be ok?"

"I think he's at Gumi's, make sure he doesn't head to the house. I think so, but the guy didn't tell us much on the phone. Shit, we're pulling in." everyone started unbuckling, and Luka stared muttering to the two in the back.

"We've got this, don't worry. Just take care of Rinny." With that he was gone. Thank goodness, one thing down. Now for Rin.

_Rin POV_

_I hear voices, voices that are probing me out of my dreamless sleep. As I fight through the haze, I manage to open my eyes, and after rapidly blinking, see things. People._

_"Hey Rin." It's Miku, with her long, teal hair. I focus on it rather than her face for a while. Its calming, like the ocean._

_The clicking of high heels._

_"Hi sweetheart." Meiko leans over my body, smiling tentatively. Soon Luka and Teto join as well. Am I dead?_

_They're waiting for me to say something, so I can't be dead. But the moment I begin to even think of saying something, it comes back, all in a rush. No more clouds of sleep._

**_"Beautiful…" _**

_I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. My body writhes even though nothing holds it down._

_"Nurse?!" I hear Meiko call frantically._

_"Rin?!" Luka reaches out to try and comfort me, but I shy from her touch as if it poisonous. Everything is wrong, I'm so confused. My heart beats so fast, I'm scared._

_The heavyset nurse from before hurries in._

_"Oh honey." She says, and hurries to grab my arm and quickly give me a little shot. I begin to relax immediately. She leans over. She has pretty brown skin and warm brown eyes._

_"Think about something else; try not to get in such a state, baby. Relax; your friends are here to take you home."_

_Home. I want to go. I nod, even though I'm feeling a little sleepy now._

_"That's a girl. I'll get the doctor for y'all."_

_I lie there numbly, but don't sleep. I want to go home. Home to the yellow and orange bedroom I shared with him. Len._

_Where is Len? I want him so bad something's aches in my chest. The thoughts of him are calming though, calming enough that I try and get Miku's attention._

_'What is it?" she asks. I don't dare try and speak, but I don't know what to do to make her understand. Slowly, I pull my hair in a ponytail, but she just squints at me._

_Luka walks over and her eyes widen._

_"Are you asking about Len?" She guesses. I nod, relived, and release my sweaty hair, putting my hand back on the mattress with a plop._

_"He's out, but after we get home, he'll come and see you."_

_I feel myself whimper inside. I'll have to wait._

_I fell asleep before they took me outside to go home, so when I woke up, I was already home. In my bed, the one I shared with Len. Luka sat next to the bed, reading something._

_I reached out warily and gingerly tugged on her sleeve. She lowered the book suddenly, surprised._

_"Oh! You're awake." She smiled. "Do you need anything, Rin?" I tried to sit up and pointed towards the door. I want to go see Len._

_Luka bit her lip. "Len will be in soon, ok?" I frowned. I wanted him now. Was he here? I pointed again._

_"Um, let's just stay in here." He must be out there! I pushed my blankets off and put my feet on the floor. I suddenly noticed how sore I was, and how my arms were covered in dark blotches. Bruises._

_I did my best to ignore them with my thoughts of Len. Luka stood and tried to usher me back to bed, but seemed hesitant to put her hands on me or refuse me, so I kept going. Suddenly, a roar broke out just as I was nearing the door. Len?_

* * *

Len POV

"Can we go home now?" I said grouchily. "I want to see Rin, and this is the third time we've gone for ice cream."

Kaito and Gaku looked very nervous.

"But, we haven't even gone to the park!" Kaito said lightly.

"It's nine at night. I don't want to go to the park." Suddenly Kaito's cell rang. He also had my cell phone, a rule of our special, "Guys night out." It sucked.

Gakupo took a long lick of his lavender ice cream. "I bet we can go now." He said.

I frowned. Had we been waiting for something? Kaito returned.

"Ok, let's go home." He said. I happily headed towards the car.

When we returned home, it was eerily quiet, and all the girls save Luka and Rin were in the living room. Just sitting there. I wondered where Rin was as I took off my shoes. I know she had gone shopping today, she probably was putting away all her new stuff; even though she was just gonna take it out to show me.

"Hey." I said politely, heading past the couches to go down the hall where my room laid.

"Len." Two hands clapped on my shoulders, steering me back.

"What?" I exclaimed. "You guys want to do more stuff?" I added irritably.

"Len, we have to tell you something." I sat down, examining their serious faces. Teto looked scared to death.

"What's wrong? Where's Rin?" I asked, my heart beating.

"Don't freak out." Miku said. I looked at her, panicked.

"Len, focus." Meiko said, and I turned back to her. "Listen."

I clenched my hands into fists and tried to ignore all the staring eyes. She looked right into me.

"Rin is ok, kind of. She's in the back, resting. But… she was raped today, Len." Her eyes nervously searched me. "She's ok."

I stared past her, mind reeling. The wall was kind of rougher than it looks the color of eggshells. Our bedroom was yellow. We painted it ourselves.

Rin was raped.

Teto leaned over to Miku. "He's not moving." She whispered.

Where was Rin? Someone hurt her, someone touched her. Someone hurt my beautiful, sweet Rin. I'd kill them. I would do it right now. No. Rin. I had to go to her, she must be so alone, she needed me, my precious Rin…

A howl burst through my chest to my lips, and I roared with anguish. Quickly I jumped over the couch's back, so fast and sudden that Kaito and Gakupo didn't have time to hold me. I screamed her name, a loud constant sound. Hands folded around me, restraining me from her, my love. I thrashed and fought, and through the noise of my own making, heard the click of a doorknob turn.

Our door opened and I stared down the hallway. She emerged, so tiny and pale. Luka came right behind her, hands fluttering around Rin like butterflies.

Her eyes were huge, and her usually silky golden hair a tangled mess. Dark circles surrounded her beautiful eyes, and her hands and legs shook. Even from here I saw the bruises that were beginning to form, all over her arms and legs. Her cheek was swollen, eyes red and glassy. She wore an old nightgown she hadn't used in years; she mostly wore my shirts to bed. She clutched at the short, pink-gray cloth fretfully, as if she would collapse any moment.

She said nothing, just looked at me with those eyes. And I knew how broken she was. I could feel how much she had been hurt, just from here. My ray of sunshine, my golden butterfly. She was still as precious and beautiful as ever, but horribly, horribly wounded on the inside, scraped raw and bleeding.

I realized I had stopped. Stopped screaming, stopped fighting, everything was still, except for my heart that bled, bled for my sweet, perfect Rin.

"Len?"

It was her voice that broke me. The half strangled, broken syllable, said almost an octave higher than her normal melodic tone. It echoed in the silent hall. A gasp rattled her after my name and she fell forward a few steps before completely collapsing.

I had already begun moving, like I was a magnet, drawn to her. The hands holding me released me as I flew to her. My feet beat the floor, and then slipped behind me as I caught her into my arms. I squeezed her like a fragile doll: as if I was afraid to break her further.

She sobbed uncontrollably into my shirt, and the sound of her pain was too much to bear as tears too flowed from my eyes. I buried my head into her hair as sobs choked me, clogging my throat as I struggled to breathe.

Luka, in front of us, held her hands in front of her mouth as tears streamed down from her eyes. Teto cried as well, holding Miku's hand. Kaito and Gakupo looked on, seemingly emotionless but their eyes full of pain. Meiko clapped a hand over her own mouth as a small sob escaped her as she witnessed the scene, unable to hold it in any longer.

Eventually, I tightened my grip around Rin, moving her slightly so I could carry her. Pushing myself up on unsteady legs that shook, I walked her slowly past Luka to our shared room.

I tried to lay her on the bed, but she clung to me. I tried to remove her hands, but she became frantic.

At her distress, I automatically slid into the space next to her, feeling the small warmth of her body shift to my side. I lifted her closer to me, so I could hold her. I stroked her hair, whispered little things into her ear to try and comfort her, remind her I was here. Everyone else and everything else fell away.

Eventually she exhausted herself, falling asleep in my arms like she was a little girl. I could barely take my eyes off of her, but I shifted my eyes towards the door.

It stood open, the light from the hall streaming into the darker room. A figure came to the doorway and grabbed the handle, pulling it shut from the outside after a glance at us on the bed.

It was Meiko, with tears still gleaming on her cheeks. She gave a little wave before she shut the door.

Rin slept fitfully. She awoke with gasps, needing reassurance and comfort. She said nothing, only little sounds of pain and fright. When morning finally came, I realized I hadn't slept at all.

How could I? When she was asleep, I was consumed by my own pain, not to mention the deep hatred that rested in me, waiting. Whoever had done this to her would fare much worse by my hand, no matter what the cost.

I watched her as she slept in fear she would wake, praying she would sleep on soundly, she needed the rest.

* * *

As the sun barely began to shine, she woke up again.

"Morning, Rin." I whispered to her. She looked at me with those eyes. I brushed back a piece of her dirty hair gently, avoiding her swollen cheek. He had hit her. Bastard.

She closed her eyes, but I could tell she was not sleeping. She burrowed herself into my chest as if to stay there forever. I wondered if she would cry like she did last night, but it didn't seem like it.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her hopefully. Maybe she would feel better if she ate. After a long wait, she shook her head.

Why wouldn't she speak? She seemed to need me, badly, but I had never felt so closed off from her. Her mind was shut tight, her lips as well.

"You don't need anything?" I asked her softly. Her arms tightened around me, and gave no other response.

I sighed, and tried to unattach her from me. Suddenly she began to fight me, clawing, clinging, pressing herself back into my arms.

"Wait, wait!" I cried. "I'm just trying to readjust, honey." She stopped immediately, waiting patiently as I moved into a sitting position. She slowly crawled into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I moved myself close to her ear. "Don't worry, Rin. I won't leave you. I'll give you whatever you need, princess." She didn't answer but to press herself closer.

The silence from her was so disturbing. I was the quiet one, not her. She was always bubbling with life, with song, speech, emotion, anything. It was like she was dead inside, a lifeless doll. But I knew she was in there.

I hummed a song and rocked my body back and forth a bit, hoping to soothe her. I felt her relaxing, slow and gradual, into my arms. She felt very light. Had she always been this light?

A knock at the door made Rin tense. Luka opened the door a bit and peeked her head in.

"Come in." I called. She came in and walked over to us. Rin didn't look up.

"Good morning." She said politely. "I've come to sit with you, Rin; Meiko has to talk to Len." Rin suddenly developed a death grip, so tight I almost choked.

"Rin." I tried to loosen her grip a bit. "She doesn't want me to leave." I told Luka. She bit her lip.

"Sorry." She murmured, and I saw something in her hand. She quickly injected something into Rin, a little syringe full of a clear liquid. Rin tensed further, but relaxed not too long afterwards.

"What the hell?" I asked Luka. She grimaced.

"Sorry, Len. The doctor gave it to us in case she became hysterical, but this is an emergency. Meiko needs to tell you what the doctor said, but it's probably not best for you to be around Rin when you hear it."

I clutched her limp body. "I could have handled it." I hissed. Luka looked sad.

"Come on. I'll sit with her." I hesitated, but gave in. if she woke up with me gone, she might cry.

Meiko, Miku, Kaito and Gakupo sat in the living room again with some papers. Miku and Meiko's eyes were red, and the guys weren't much better. Kaito looked like he'd been up all night.

It was awkward, and you could taste the sadness in the room. Gakupo read the papers, since Meiko seemed unable.

Rin had entered the hospital, looking terrible. A nurse asked her what had happened to her, and Rin had replied with one word: rape.

She had been immediately taken in, and examined. DNA had been found which was good so they could identify the perpetrator. This was especially good, since Rin could not answer their questions or even attempt to. Other than her first utterance, the only other time she spoke was to a nurse before the tests.

"Rin turned to the nurse on her left and clearly asked: 'Len?' the nurse had no idea who she was referring to, but reassured Rin that he would be contacted." Gakupo read. My heart panged.

"Physical damage indicated a broken rib, swollen cheek, sore wrists, marks on her back and multiple bruises. Under estimation, it appeared as if she was raped multiple times. She was expected to be very sore, and needed to keep her ribs bandaged so the broken one could heal. Psychological damage was indicated to be more than physical. Her muteness was not one of physical injury, so it must be by trauma. It appeared she had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, an expected case of Rape Trauma Syndrome, and deeper psychological issues. When approached by a male member of the staff, she reacted severely, becoming hysterical even though she was approached in a non-threatening way. It became clear she did not like to be touched by anyone, not even if female, and had to be medicated in order to thoroughly examine her. Male staffs were kept away from her in order not to cause further distress, and nurses were instructed to touch her as little as possible unless indicated otherwise. It is highly suggested by this medical team to have her examined by a psychologist further and to have her taken for a few checkups afterward for her rib."

When Gakupo stopped, I was glad that Rin was not around. I began to sob into my hands, not even embarrassed. Sure I was a man, but this was too much.

A broken rib? She didn't want to be touched? She wouldn't speak? It was fucked up, plain and simple. Whoever had done this… would die.

I suddenly stood, and began throwing thing angrily.

"Why? Why? Why?" I screamed. Gakupo and Kaito grabbed me, and Miku started to cry.

"Len! Stop!" Meiko shouted. "Listen to me!"

I stopped fighting enough to sit down, and I put my head in my hands.

"Len, I know you're angry. But Rin needs you. You saw how she clung to you, and she won't even let anyone else touch her. You're the only guy she doesn't freak out about if she sees. She relies on you, and you're gonna have to put away your anger and be there for her for a while. With you, she'll be able to heal."

I rubbed my face, feeling the tears that still flowed. I guess what she said was true, but… god I wanted to kill him. I wanted to hurt that bastard and watch him bleed. Of course I wanted to take care of Rin, but I wanted revenge. I didn't want her to be afraid.

"I understand." I said tiredly.

"The police will find him." Kaito said quietly. I shrugged. If I didn't strangle him myself, I wouldn't be happy.

"Len, we're all torn up about this." Miku told me. "Talk to us."

I turned my back on her. "I have to get back to her." I said hoarsely. They didn't stop me.

Luka rose as I entered, and left without a word. I figured she wanted to know to.

She slept like an angel, peaceful because of the narcotics. I ran my hands through my hair as I watched her, feeling so helpless.

If only I had been there. I would have protected her. Why did I let her, my beautiful twin, go alone? How scared she must have been. I could have stopped all of this, if I had just gone shopping with her.

As if sensing me, she awoke, long eyelashes fluttering open. Upon seeing me, she held up her arms. _Hold me,_ she seemed to say.

I did. I picked her up and held her close. She relaxed in my arms, basking in the intensity of my feelings.

"I'll protect you." I swore to her. "I promise."

She snuggled her head into my neck and gazed across the room, silent. I kissed her head gently, vowing that I would never let anything hurt her again.

* * *

_I hate it. The touch and presence of people makes me feel horrible. Dirty. Scared. _

_The touch of someone, even a light brush makes me feel like im going to be violently ill. Every touch is his touch, his dirty, harsh fingers pressing, forcing themselves into my skin._

_As soon as people leave, I feel my muscles relax. I cant seem to help it, even if I know they love me I cant fight the dangerous feeling._

_Except for Len. It doesn't matter if he is a man. It doesn't matter if he touches me. He is the ultimate exception to the world, the only one who makes me feel safe._

_His touch does not revolt or scare me. It is soothing, a balm to my fears. His closeness is like a blanket to shield me from the world. He emulates love and protection._

_I know its weird that I cant be without him. But as soon as he's gone, its as if I'm naked in a crowd of people. He's my only salvation in the sea of darkness._

* * *

"Len, she needs to talk to someone. She won't even consider leaving the house, she hardly gets out of bed, and can barely tolerate a minute without you."

I sighed and bit my lip. I know this, but Rin has a hard enough time dealing with just our family. It's a little better now. She'll let any of the girls stay with her and even hold her hand. But as for Gakupo and Kaito, she can't stand seeing them unless I'm there.

I know she's sick. Her rib is healing, and the bruises are fading, but inside I know she's deeply, deeply hurt. Wounds that might not even heal on their own or with time.

I nod slowly, part of me just wanting to get back to her. Meiko nods back, both of us sad.

"Just... one that will be kind and understanding. And that can come here. And won't push her!" I add. Meiko holds her hand up, giving me a small smile.

"I know, I know. A woman, and preferably one that will see Rin with you, so Rin feels better." I smile back, feeling relieved. "You just break the news to Rin, and I'll take care of it."

When I walk back into the room, Rin looks up from the blanket. Her face doesn't change much, but I know she's happy to see me.

I smile at Miku, who leaves after I return. Miku is a good friend. Even though Rin is so different, she still sticks by her and talks to her everyday. I know it's hard for everyone, because Rin is so different and can't speak.

As I snuggle back in, Rin gives a little sigh of relief. I know she feels anxious when I'm gone.

I turn on the TV, but I know Rin doesn't really watch it. Lately, all she does is stare off and sleep. She doesn't often try to communicate, and displays hardly any emotions unless it's extreme fear or pain. It kills me to see her like this, like she's dead inside. Somewhere, deep deep within her is the old her, and hopefully with time she can emerge.

"Rin."

She looks at me. Her eyes seem bigger than they used to, big and blue in her small, pale face. I cup her cheek and she leans into my palm.

"Meiko and I think you should see a doctor. A psychologist."

Her eyes widen and she seems to shrink back into herself. Deliberately and slowly she shakes her head.

"Hey, hey." I soothed. "Consider it. I'd be there, and I think it would help, Rinny."

Another shake, and she pressed her face into my chest. I rubbed her back and sighed.

"Just try it once. For me. Please?"

She doesn't answer, but I feel a tiny nod. Kissing her head, I smile.

* * *

"Rin, please."

Rin is throwing a fit. Even though she promised she would see the counselor today, she is dragging her heels. All I want to do is change her shirt, but she's gone limp, dragging us both down.

As I stand and try to pull her towards the closet, she literally dig her heels into the carpet as I drag her suddenly heavy body across the floor.

"She's going to be here soon!" I protest, but Rin does nothing.

I sigh and try to let Rin sit on the floor, but she has an iron grip on my arm. I sigh, and try to remind myself that at least her stubborness is still strong.

It takes us ten minutes, but she has a new shirt on and is ready. I've re-convinced her to cooperate, so she is sitting on the couch with me, waiting.

Kaito and Gaku have gone out; seeing as Rin didn't really need more stress. Miku is in her room and Luka is at work. Meiko is here as guardian and to help me if things don't turn out well.

Meiko comes and sits across from us, drinking even though it's barely noon.

"Rin, you'll be openminded, right?" She asks hopefully. I give her a look.

Rin looks at me, so I gently squeeze her hand. "Just try it once. It could help." I press.

Rin gives a sad sort of sigh and looks at the clock with fear. Seeing how close it was, she tries to climb into my lap.

I keep her at my side. "Sorry Rinny, but she'll be here soon. Just try and relax." Rin hid her face.

At that moment the door bell rang. Meiko answered it.

She was younger than I expected, and had a kind gentle look. This was comforting, because I could feel Rin trembling.

Meiko introduced herself. The woman was named Dr. Harmen.

I smiled at her and stood, bringing Rin with me. "Hi, I'm Len Kagamine. I'm Rin's twin brother."

She nodded and smiled. "Meiko told me about you and Rin over the phone." I blushed, and was just glad she seemed accepting of me and Rin's...err, close relationship.

Dr. Harmen looked at Rin and smiled but did not stretch out her hand. "Hi, I'm Dr. Harmen. You must be Rin."

Rin looked at her blankly but didn't draw away again to my relief.

Dr. Harmen seemed to take Rin's muteness in stride. "Why don't we sit down and get started right away?" She suggested.

We all sat, and Rin leaned against me, looking at me funny. I looked back at her, and somehow knew she wanted to talk to me.

"Umm... Can we have a minute?" I asked tentivaly. nodded, and Rin and I left the room.

"What's wrong?" I asked Rin, but she just suddenly embraced me, pressing herself against me. She didn't cry, but I still held her for a moment. I know how hard this must be for her.

"Rin, if there's something you want to tell me, you have to try with your hands or something." I stressed. Rin hesitated, but after a moment, slid her hands in front of her.

She made a no sign. "No?" I guessed. She shrugged, and I was starting to feel a little lost.

"No...talk..." Suddenly she stopped and got a horrified look on her face. She began to crumple, but I caught her.

"Rin, Rin it's ok. Shh, shh." I cooed, trying to soothe her. She shook her head frustratedly, and I realized that she couldn't convey what she wanted.

No talk about what? What would Rin not want to talk about? Rin's face came into mind, and I had it.

"Rin, do you not want to talk about that night?" I tried gingerly. Rin nodded tearfully. I smiled at her and smoothed a tear away.

"I'll tell them." I assured her. She nodded as if exausted.

I led her back into the room and told them what Rin wanted. Dr. Harmen nodded.

"That's just fine for today." She agreed. "Why don't I just get to know about you first."

I looked at Rin and she nodded slowly. I rubbed her back encouragingly.

Dr. Harmen got out a pad of paper and a pen and looked at Rin.

"So, why don't you tell me what you like to do?"

A silence fell across the room, and I felt my cheeks heating up. Didn't Dr. Harmen realize Rin didn't talk?

Rin stared blankly at her, and I shifted uncomfortably. Dr. Harmen waited paitently.

Meiko cleared her throat. "The doctors said Rin has selective mutism... from the trauma, most likely."

The doctor nodded again. "But she doesn't try to communicate at all?"

Meiko shook her head. "Only with Len, and that's rare." She looked at me for comfrentation.

Rin leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed. Dr. Harmen looked thoughtful.

"Alright... Rin, would you mind if I talked to Len about you then? Feel free to express your opinion at an time."

Rin nodded tiredly again, and I was beginning to worry that she was going to fall asleep.

"Len, what can you say about your sister?"

I felt embaressed, being put on the spot. But this was for Rin.

"Rin is...Fun. She's very sweet and bright. Beautiful." i smiled at Rin, and she nuzzled me a bit. "She is a stubborn and mischievious as well. Right?"

Rin nodded for confrentation. Dr. harmen wrote something down.

"What does she like to do?"

It went on and on. What rin liked, what her habits were, about her friends, about our family. The it came down to our relationship.

"So what about you and Rin?"

I blushed and looked to Rin, praying that she would use this chance to finally say something somehow. But she just stared at me with her pretty blue eyes.

"Rin and I..." I felt my cheeks become hotter."We've always been close. Best friends since conception." I smiled, rembering our childhood.

"But um, when we got older... we realized we both well... loved each other."

Rin made a little sound, and for a moment she smiled a little. I smoothed her hair and felt warmer inside.

"I love her more than anything. I know her better than myself." I said softly, looking only at Rin this time.

Rin opened her eyes and looked at me, and gave me that small smile again. I wanted so badly to kiss her, but I realized there were other people here.

"Do you think she feels the same?" Dr Harmen asked. Rin suddenly stiffened, and she whisked her head towards the doctor and nodded slowly and surely. The doctor wrote that down.

"I'll take that as a yes." she said, smiling.

* * *

Another nightmare. Rin had them all the time, but usaully I woke up before they became too bad.

Tonight though, I was too late. I woke up, and she was thrashing around, making small sounds of pain. Other than that, she never spoke. Not even when asleep. I see her lips part wide, twisted in a silent scream.

"Wake up. Rin. Rin!" I tried holding her close to calm her, but she clawed at me and struggled. I bit my lip in frustration as I tried to wake her.

Her eyes clenched as she fought against the dream demons, but finally went limp. I sighed as she bolted awake, cold sweat clinging to her hot body.

"Shh, it's alright. I'm here." I told her. She began to sob silently, and I pressed her against me. Why did she have to continue to be tormented?

* * *

_"You're beautiful..." he whispers. My body shys away from his lips to my neck, and I can't help but make a small sound of horror._

_Such a response grants me another blow to my cheek. It throbs and feels raw, and he presses his palm to it. I can smell his dirty cologne. I gag._

_"If you keep resisting, I'll have to keep hurting your pretty body. You don't want that, do you?"_

_Tears leak from my eyes, but I cannot move I cannot move I cannot move and I'm so scared._

_Why? Why? Why? I can feel the vile rising in my throat as his touches increase, but my mouth is gagged and I cannot move, cannot move. I want so badly to get away, anywhere but here. I try to shut my eyes and shut him out, but it doesn't work. I wish he had blindfolded me so I would not see him, or his hands, touching places I do not want him to touch, that only Len has touched._

_This is not right. This is not Len. Len loved me, Len cared about me, Len was gentle and Len listened to me. Len did not feel like this, Len did not hurt me like this. Len did not kiss me when I didn't want it, Len didn't touch me when I did not want it. _

_Len never told me what this man has, and Len never promised me I would never be free of him._

* * *

Rin held my hand as we walked around the yard. It was night, and I was trying to get Rin to break her fears.

She clung to me, sometimes pulled on my arm to lead me inside. But she knew I wouldn't bow.

Ever since that night, Rin hasn't liked to go outside. She tolerates it in the day, but barely leaves our room at night. I understand, but I have to find her midst all the fear. Even now, she looks around with huge, empty eyes. Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers what it was like before.

Rin sees the therapist twice a week. She will on occasion make signs to try and communicate, but it's still hard to get past her walls. Even for me.

Working with the doctor has helped her though. Gakupo and Kaito do not frighten her unless they surprise her somehow, and she's alright with me leaving for a few hours now and then. However, I'm not.

When I leave so Rin can adjust, my chest feels tight. My head hurts, and I can't stop thinking about her. What if she's scared? What if she feels like I do, like she can't breathe? When I return from these reluctant outings, I am just as happy to see her as she is me.

Right now, her face is turning gray, and I realize she's panicking. I pick her up and hurry inside, shutting the sliding glass door with a slam. Once inside, she calms down. I put her down, and after a hug, she heads upstairs.

Gakupo looks up from the kitchen table, where he's reading the newspaper.

"No luck?" he asks, and I shake my head.

"It just takes some getting used to." I reply. I go to get something to drink, but I hear Gaku's paper come down again.

"You haven't told her about the identification yet, have you?"

I sigh and shake my head again.

The police called a few days ago, saying they had some subjects that Rin needed to look at, so she could identify if one was the perpetrator. i squeezed the handle of the fridge door hard, trying to swallow. If she did somehow manage to walk in there and identify that bastard, I don't know what I'd do. I know I wouldn't be able to control myself. He...He who did this to my beautiful, vivacious Rin. He who turned her into this sad, scared shell of a girl. He hurt her, and I want to kill him so bad I bite my own lip till it bleeds.

As I retrieve a paper towel to hold it to my lip, Gakupo notices.

"Len, you have to get a hold of yourself." He ordered. "Everyone of us wants to see that man dead, but we can't do anything like that."

"I could." I say thickly, feeling the hate choke my throat. Gakupo takes a hold of my shoulders, making me look at him.

"If you do anything crazy, you could get put away just like he will be. How would you help Rin then?"

I shrug him off, but I already understand. When I walk through the door though, Rin is changing. I see the bandages wrapped around her rib cage and I feel sick. But instead of wanting to hurt someone, I only want to hold her. I only want to make her better, make her hurt a thing of the past. I wrap my arms around her, and she leans back into my embrace. She doesn't question this, but presses her hand against my cheek after I let her go.

She's doing better. What if she relapses after seeing him, if he's there? I swallow hard, and walk to the window, cursing myself for ever letting her go.

_I see it in Len's eyes. What he wants. Sometimes I try to smile as I did, try to do something like I used to. But I always fail, always fall flat. I can't. I can't even speak. I can't tell Len how much I love him, can't even say the littlest of things. The words won't even come anymore, not to my throat or anything. I feel so tired, so so tired. I always want to sleep, to drift. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I just am nothing anymore. Nothing._

**A/N**

**I dunno how I got this idea, I just did ._. Anyways, This is part one. I don't know if part two will be next week, or if it will be after a few other chapters of something else. I hope you guys enjoyed, even if it isn't the happiest...I promise rainbows in the end.**

**Anyways~**

**Cookiexo~ I like it too! I've always thought it interesting. But yea, politics and stuff is so boring TAT But blonde kids...so cute! Thank you!**

**As you see, it wasn't twin rape TAT I've read some stories like that, but this one isn't one of them...sorry. ._. **

**XD Thanks. I dont think Im too funny, but thanks XD **

**BURN HOMEWORK BURN! I hate it TAT But thanks for the support darlin :D Hope your project went well!**

**Maya1705~ Thanks! I agree XD**


	10. Healed

**A/N This is a continuation of the previous chapter, Broken. If you haven't read it please go back and read it before you read this one.**

**Warning: This story contains rape and descriptions of rape. I take the subject very seriously and hope no one is offended. You have been warned.**

* * *

It's weird being twins.

I mean, it's different than just having a sibling. Your twin, this other half, is always paired up with you. You go through everything together, remember things the same, develop at the same time. You're always paired with them, you look alike, you're similar, you get to know them better than you could ever know yourself.

It's even weirder loving them like I love Rin. Regular people, even if they were childhood friends, have never been together like Rin and I. Have never understood each to her like we do, because we've seen them almost every day of their life, seen every event with them, practically living their life. And to love someone you understand and have such a tight, indescribable bond with…well, it's incredible.

But something's wrong now. Ever since Rin was raped, a rift has been between us. I resent myself for not being there. She can't share it with me. It's an obstacle we both cannot seem to get over, no matter how hard you try. Its killing us both.

I try so hard. I tell myself she doesn't resent me. That it wasn't my fault. How could I have known? But it doesn't matter. It won't ever matter. I look at her, so broken and sad, and I blame myself.

I know that she's trying too. She's trying to get better, lethargic and silent as she is.

The other day she turned to me, her face full of something, her lips parted. My heart leapt, but after a moment, she just let out her breath and a blank look came over her face. All the feeling drained from her, and her eyes became shadowed. My heart hurt to see that, and I unexpectedly pulled her to me, holding her tight. I'm so afraid to let her go these days. If I lose any more of her, what will be left?

I miss Rin's singing. I miss her voice. Her laughter. I miss her smile. I wish she could tell me anything. Something. So many times I took her words for granted: I missed you, you're silly, come with me, you're stupid, I love you. Even my name. Not a syllable passes through her lips, but I remember her saying my name. I just miss Rin…being Rin.

Right now she's washing her hands. As she does, I realize how long it's been since I kissed her. I walk to the open door and lean against the doorframe, watching over her. She doesn't look up into the mirror, just kind of morosely at her hands.

When she's done, I grab her damp hands and make her stare into my eyes. She stares back at me openly, doesn't look away or seem uncomfortable or surprised.

I slide my hand under her jawbone, feeling nervous. I don't know why.

It's probably because I haven't kissed her, really kissed her since that night.

If Rin knows what I'm thinking, she doesn't show it. But I don't want to scare her. I lean in very slowly, hoping she'll understand. If she feels uncomfortable, she'll be able to let me know.

She doesn't move, just watches me, which honestly makes me more nervous. Anxiety twists my stomach; god, if I scare her I'll never forgive myself for that either.

Our noses brush each other, then our foreheads meet just for a second before my lips touch hers.

I forgot how good it feels. It feels so good. I want to reach out and touch her body more, want to hold her waist. I want her hands to touch me. Her light fingertips always felt wonderful on my back, I want to feel them again. I want to kiss her harder, deeper. But I can't, I won't.

She doesn't draw back, but stays very still. Right as I begin to worry that she's not ok, she's gone into some kind of shock, I feel a very small twitch and a light pressure on my lips.

I'm so surprised that I pull back and look at her. She looks…surprised. A little embarrassed; her cheeks are pink. Her eyes won't meet me, but she reaches up and touches her lips lightly.

I swallow and lean back shyly. She doesn't look upset. That's good, right?

"Are…are you ok?" I have to make sure.

She actually flushes a little more, but meets my eyes and nods. Smiles. It's a small one, but it's a real smile.

Her smile makes me want to grab her, press her against the wall and just kiss her again. But I don't. I smile back at her and hold out my hand. We go back into the living room.

* * *

Kissing is not such an event now. It's a natural way to show our affection. She is neither scared nor surprised when I lean in anymore. I think it's…helping? We went shopping yesterday too, and although Rin held my hand she didn't cling to me. She was really tired when we got home, but I think it was a good experience.

Rin still has trouble sleeping. She hardly has nightmares anymore, but then again I'm always with her while she sleeps. Dr. Harmen suggested that Rin spend less time sleeping and more time doing "something productive." So now Rin exercises, draws, and does stuff like laundry and cleaning. Dr. Harmen advised me that it would be best if I didn't do everything for Rin. Builds her confidence and independence or something. So now Rin does our laundry. All my white socks have turned a funny blue color.

We're going to a movie tonight. At night. To a movie theater full of people. To sit in the dark with them.

Rin doesn't want to go, and I don't either. Because Meiko and I made a deal that if Rin did ok with this, then she was ok enough for us to inform her of the identification thing.

Needless to say, I'm nervous as hell. So is Rin. She's doing that clingy thing that makes me feel heartsick. I have to take a shower, but she kind of won't let go of my arm.

Eventually Luka notices.

"Hey Rin," She says kindly. "Want me to help you pick out an outfit for you and Len's date?" She winks, and I feel embarrassed, even though I know she's helping. After a second, Rin looks at me, deliberating. I smile. She gives a little sigh but nods, sliding her hand away from mine. I kiss her lightly before she goes even though I know she'll be ok.

I shower and change, but Rin gives me a funny look as I walk into our room.

She's not changed yet, waiting to use the bathroom with her outfit in hand, but she stares at my shirt with the weirdest expression.

I look down; it's some t-shirt Kaito gave me as a joke with an obnoxious saying. I didn't really notice when I picked it; I was just going for something clean. But then I remember.

Rin hates this shirt! She used to hide it in her own drawers so I wouldn't wear it. I'd find it and wear it to tease her, and it became a little war of sorts. I look at her with this new light shed, and she's smiling a crooked little smile.

I smile at her even though she's just staring at my shirt, and I feel like laughing. There she is, in that funny smile of hers. There's my Rin.

She gets up and walks over to me. She runs her hands over my chest and stomach, making me shiver involuntarily. She doesn't seem to notice, just lifts the hem up, forcing me to take off the shirt.

After it's wrestled off me, she balls it up as I stand there awkwardly and shirtless to boot. She gives me a cheeky kind of look I yearn to see and kind of saunters away, hiding it somewhere in our closet. She returns with another shirt.

My whole heart has swelled. Minus the silence, it's like nothing ever happened, for this brief moment. That smile, that forwardness, that little walk and twitch of her hips: that's all my Rin.

So instead of taking the shirt, I grab her and kiss her. She seems caught off-guard, but kisses me back for a moment. My good sense kicks in after a moment and I release her, but she stays for a moment, leaning against me and looking at me. Then she hands me my shirt and backs off. She's in the bathroom before I can blink.

I smile as I put on the shirt. I don't know if she picked it with this in mind, but she bought it for me. I like it, and smooth it down kind of fondly. Maybe today will be a good day.

Rin emerges later, looking so pretty. Luka gave her a cute shirt and some shorts. Her legs are long; very sexy to me. She brushed her hair so it's very shiny and soft-looking. Although Rin looks nervous, I'm reminded how beautiful she is. I kiss her again, telling her what I think with that. Funny thing; I say less these days, showing instead of saying. Like Rin.

We leave, and Luka and Miku smile at us as we leave.

"I want her back by 9, Kagamine." Miku jokes in a deep voice. Rin smiles and I nod soberly.

"Yes sir." I reply.

In the car, Rin looks out at the dark streets as I drive. I reach for her hand when I see her expression in the glass. Her shoulders relax.

A song comes on and I begin to sing along without thinking about it. When I notice Rin staring at me, I blush and stop.

Her face has a yearning expression as she tugs on my shirt. She wants me to sing some more.

I can only comply, but I don't forget that look. Rin wants to sing too.

When we arrive, I open the car door for Rin and help her out. We hold hands as we wait in line. Rin's nervous, so she sort of presses against me. It probably just looks like we're a close couple, but it makes me feel sad that the gesture is out of fear.

We are seeing _For the Love of Socks: The Sequel_, something Rin picked out. I can't really say I've ever paid attention to it, but to my knowledge it's a chick flick about romance between…socks. Why Rin would want to see this is beyond me, but whatever she wants.

We pick seats away from others, but to no surprise there's hardly anyone here. A few old ladies.

When the lights go down and the screen lights up, Rin starts shaking. She must feel vulnerable in the dark. I glance at her and see her blue eyes wide and darting around. I squeeze her hand, but it doesn't seem to reassure her too much. Luckily, when the trailers stop and the movie starts, Rin gets lost in the plot and forgets to be scared.

The movie is boring and although Rin seems to have been absorbed into such a dramatic plotline, I can't even figure out what it is. So I spend the two hours mostly watching my Rin. Every expression she makes is adorable, every little twitch and smile. Her shoulders shake when she laughs and her eyes look brighter. Her voice may be lost but her face is so expressive that it tells me what she's feeling. And when there is a sad, heartbreaking part, Rin's eyes hold sadness and sympathy. She has such a sweet heart, even if she doesn't like to show it. I enjoy my time watching her. Rin is so beautiful.

After the movie we return to the car, but before I start it Rin lays her hand on mine to stop me. I look up and see her have a curious expression.

"What's wrong?" I ask. She tilts her head and skews her mouth a little. Shyness? Uncertainty?

She gestures for me to come closer so I lean in, surprised when she does the same, laying her lips on mine. She kisses me quite passionately, and well…we get a little into it.

Although I'm surprised, it's not unusual for us to make out after a date in the car, even going further a few times in the backseat. But that of course, was before.

So she's running her hands through my hair, having tossed my hair band somewhere when I run my hand across her stomach. She seems to like it, so I slip my hands underneath her shirt to feel the soft skin beneath. We are kissing very fervently and I mindlessly let my hands travel upward. However once I reach her breasts, she freezes.

Immediately I stop, because she is stock still and sending out some incredibly frightened vibes. When I see her face, I feel horrible. Her eyes are elsewhere, seeing something else. Her hands shake. I take them from my shoulders and hold them tightly.

"Rin? Rin!" She jumps, a little startled. I lean forward.

"Rin, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I mean, I just forgot, that's all. I don't want to force you into anything, I'm sorry I was so careless…Of course you'd not want me to-"

She lays her cool hand on my cheek to halt my apologetic flow of words. I blink and she shakes her head. Trembling still, she inches forward and kisses me gently. After pulling away, she takes my hand and places it on her heart. She's shaking.

"Rin-" another violent no. Gradually, she leads my hand downward to her chest. She sighs.

Cautiously, I lean forward to kiss her and she lets me. When I pull back just the smallest fraction, her eyes stay closed.

"I love you, Rin." I tell her. Her blue eyes open, and a tear slips down her cheek. Our faces are inches apart, and I can feel how afraid she is. Not of me, but of him. Of being hurt again.

I press my forehead against hers and stare deeply into her eyes.

"I will protect you. I will kill all your fears, and I will make sure they never come true." She breathed out as I swore this, an exhale of something kept inside. Something she may have let go.

I smile at my precious twin. "Let's go home." She nods.

That night she slept soundly. Rin was still hurt inside, but something had been given the chance to heal. We just had to keep trying. With time, it would happen.

* * *

_Fear tries to consume me. I feel it eating away at me. But when Len is with me, it stops. I forget about it. When he smiles, I am safe._

_Although his touch is welcome and soothing, when he touched my breasts I suddenly remembered HIS touch, HIS words and could not move, paralyzed in fear. _

"_You like that, bitch? I can see your face; don't pretend you don't like it." It hurts, I want him off of me and away from me and to stop touching me because it hurts it hurts._

_But Len, Len snapped me out of it. Saved me from relieving the nightmare. I had him touch me, because his touch would erase HIS. His touch wouldn't hurt. I knew it; I had to prove it to myself. So I wouldn't remember every time. So HE couldn't hurt me every time. Len was Len. He swore to protect me. But he doesn't really know. He isn't inside my head. He never heard the words that silence me._

* * *

Unfortunately, since there was no breakdown and Rin is doing better than ever, Meiko forces me to tell Rin about the identification.

After I tell her, she shakes her head no, back and forth, back and forth. After a few moments I realize she won't stop shaking her head and is now shaking her whole body. Tears slip down her cheeks, so I grab her and hold her tonight as she silently sobs into my shirt. She grabs fistfuls of my short so tightly I can feel it straining.

I feel horrible. I can tell Meiko feels guilty too, because she looks away. Rin's whole body is begging me, begging me to tell her she doesn't have to go. But I silently stroke her hair and internally wish I could set myself on fire. It would probably feel better than this.

Since then, Rin's nightmares have started again. In other aspects she's fine, gradually improving even. Dr. Harmen works with Rin on coping skills and other ways to help deal with the upcoming event. But as the day draws near, Rin begins to deteriorate.

It really begins two days before. I get up to go to the bathroom in the night, and hear a loud crash mid-pee.

When me and half the household reach the doorway, she's rigid, screaming silently and quivering in our bed. I run to her but she claws at me.

"Rin! Rin, it's me! It's Len!" Her eyes are wide open but they do not see me. She doesn't hear me. Gakupo and Miku rush to my aid, helping me pin her down. She fights with crazy strength, but soon she is pinned down. I stroke her face, talking to her and brushing her hair out of her face.

At first my words do not reach her, but after a while she slows and stops. I continue, but Miku and Gaku release their holds. Rin still doesn't really seem awake, but she lies motionless on the bed, staring at the white ceiling aimlessly.

I thank our friends, and they go back to bed. Meiko, who awoke later and stood by if needed, leaves last, looking worried. Once they are gone I pull Rin into my arms, crooning to her softly until she falls back to sleep.

The next day she is clingy and eats little. We talk a walk but have to go back after she starts crying halfway. I worry about her regressing, and we call Dr. Harmen. She speaks to Rin on the phone for a while with Rin just listening. We are instructed to make sure Rin gets good sleep and eats enough.

But the next day is worse. She shakes, she cries, she won't let me out of sight. When night finally comes and we lay down together, she begins to beg me not to take her.

She cries into my neck and tugs angrily on my shirt. She shakes me; her expression begs me to tell her what she wants to hear. I bite my lip until it bleeds, and she cries herself to sleep.

I wake Rin the next morning and she is vacant and trembling. Luka has to help her take a shower and get dressed. She refuses to eat until I pull her into my lap for a while and hold her tightly. I beg her to eat, so she manages half an orange and some water. We go into our bedroom to wait for an hour before it's time to leave.

"I'll be right there." I told her. Silence.

"The Chief told us that three officers, armed, would be there as well." Silence.

"Meiko and Gakupo and Kaito are going too." Silence.

Finally I can't take it anymore. I turn her towards me and cup her cheeks. "I promised to protect you, didn't I? I would not lie."

A tear slips down her cheek, but she finally nods. I sing for her until it's time to leave.

The day is bright. Its fall, the leaves are already turning but the air is still fairly warm. The ride is quiet and short. Rin has to be forced out of the car.

In the waiting room, Rin is weirdly still, as if she is a rabbit being watched by a wolf. I hold her hand firmly and whisper to her. She doesn't look at me.

We are called. I tug a wooden Rin along. A brief explanation is given to us about what will happen. Meiko grabs Rin's other hand and I turn to her.

"It only takes a moment. Just nod if they point to him, and it will be over. We will be right there." She doesn't nod, but I think she's listening. We lead her inside.

Rin looks at the floor and shakes. I feel so anxious and angry, like I'm going to explode. I wish she didn't have to do this. I wish I could do this for her.

Although she doesn't look, I do. I scan each man's face through the glass; wondering and feeling hate build inside me. Who did this to Rin? Which one raped my precious Rin? Which one beat the spirit out her? Who did it?

"Miss, do you recognize this man?" The policeman asks, pointing to the first in the lineup beyond the shaded window. Rin doesn't move.

"Rin, if you want this to be over you have to look up and say yes or no." Meiko whispers, knowing I wouldn't force Rin any further.

Slowly, Rin lifts her head, and I see she has been biting her lip. It bleeds, the redness dripping down her pale skin. I watch her carefully as her eyes scan over the men. Her pupils shrink and she inhales. I follow her eyes. Number four.

I'm gone. I let go of Rin and head for the locked door to the room that holds him. I will kill him with my bare hands. I will rip him limb from limb until he understands all the pain he put her through. I will make him suffer. My heart burns for it and I can taste his blood.

* * *

_He stares at me. I know he can't see me, but he stares like he can. And I can't remember anything but him and that night. I can't._

_I was walking home, two big bags in hand. I was so excited to show Len. I missed him so much all day, and finally he would be home. We could snuggle and I could show him all my outfits. All I knew was that my heart yearned for my brother and his smile. _

_I was so excited I took a shortcut through the park. Len, Miku and I played on here ever since we were old enough to toddle. It was full of happy memories and some funny ones, like the time Miku peed in the sandbox. I never considered it to be dangerous or unsafe, even in the dark._

_He was on a bench. No one else was in sight, every child already been taken home. I looked away as I passed him, pretending I didn't see him so it wouldn't be awkward. I was almost past him, but he was fast. He had his hand wrapped around my wrist and one on my mouth before I even realized it. My bags were dropped._

_Shocked, I began to thrash but he twisted my wrist, making me whimper. I still fought, trying to remember what to do in this situation. I used my free hand to try and retrieve my phone, but he let go of my mouth for a moment to throw it away. I tried screaming, but his hand flew back up to muffle me. He pulled me behind some bushes and grabbed my other wrist, holding them with one hand while still covering my mouth. Twisting my arms, he forced me onto the ground on my stomach. I began panicking._

"_Such a cute girl, walking home alone. What are you doing all by yourself? Got no boyfriend to protect you?"_

_I shook my head angrily. Len would protect me if he even knew this man was looking at me this way. He'd kill this man if he hurt me. I knew it._

_He was tying my wrists. I tried kicking him, and landed it somewhere. But it didn't injure, just angered him. He slammed his hand into my back, pushing my ribcage and stomach into the hard ground. I cried out in pain and couldn't move, blinded by pain for a moment._

"_The more you fight me, the more it'll hurt. Now I have to teach you a lesson, you little slut."_

_He tossed me onto my back and grabbed my jaw, forcing my mouth open. He thrust his tongue into my mouth and began violating it. He tasted like beer and pennies, and I gagged, wanting to throw up. I had only kissed two boys in my entire life: Len and once on a dare, Piko. Both had been nothing like this. Kissing with Len was one of the best things to do; I had been looking forward to it. But this man was molesting my mouth with his filthy tongue. I bit him._

_Jerking back, he slapped me three times. "You bitch. You are a worthless piece of crap. You're probably fighting because you're scared, right? No one has ever wanted to fuck you."_

_I spit in his face, so he pulled a piece of fabric out of his coat pocket and gagged me. Then he slapped me again before pushing up my shirt._

_You're beautiful..." he whispers. My body shies away from his lips to my neck, and I can't help but make a small sound of horror._

_Such a response grants me another blow to my cheek. It throbs and feels raw, and he presses his palm to it. I can smell his dirty cologne. I gag._

_"If you keep resisting, I'll have to keep hurting your pretty body. You don't want that, do you?"_

_Tears leak from my eyes, but I cannot move I cannot move I cannot move and I'm so scared._

_Why? Why? Why? I can feel the vile rising in my throat as his touches increase, but my mouth is gagged and I cannot move, cannot move. I want so badly to get away, anywhere but here. I try to shut my eyes and shut him out, but it doesn't work. I wish he had blindfolded me so I would not see him, or his hands, touching places I do not want him to touch, that only Len has touched._

_This is not right. This is not Len. Len loved me, Len cared about me, Len was gentle and Len listened to me. Len did not feel like this, Len did not hurt me like this. Len did not kiss me when I didn't want it, Len didn't touch me when I did not want it._

_His hands attack my breasts, and he bites down, making me cry out in pain. He laughs._

"_Oh, how I love your moans." He cooed. "Such a beautiful sound."_

_I want Len. I could feel myself losing strength as he pushed my skirt out of the way and began sliding down my panties. I tried to fight, but I was terrified._

_He takes off my underwear and throws it somewhere. I swallow hard and try fighting one last time as he spreads my legs. I kick and scream through my gag, pull at my arms. His fingers dig into my legs and I hear a zipper, making my blood run cold and my hair stand on end. Please no._

_My legs are pried apart once more and he thrusts himself into me. I scream out in pain and try and shut my legs, try and force him out. He is too strong for me. I cannot._

_Because of my screams, he slaps me again and suddenly grabs a knife from his pocket._

"_If I hear one more sound out of you, I will cut open your neck and hunt down your entire family. Think I won't? I bet your ID is in that pretty little bag you had, and your phone is around here somewhere. Not a sound."_

_Oh god. This is just like what you hear on TV; a man murders a girl and leaves her in the park. And he would go after my family. Len! He'd kill Len. If he killed me, he'd kill Len. No no no no._

_I swallow my moans of pain and anguish as he hurts me. It hurts so bad and he won't stop. I close my eyes but all I hear his is awful words._

"_Bet no one has ever fucked you so good, you horny little slut."_

"_After this, you'll never be the same. You'll want me so bad you'll want to hunt me down!"_

"_I'm a part of you now; you'll never be rid of me. You'll never forget how good this feels."_

_So many times he hurt me. Even when he was finally done did he not release me._

"_If I could, I'd take you home and fuck you every day. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"_

_I nodded to avoid another hit. He smiled._

"_You're mine now, you know. My pretty girl. You better not forget me." I shook my head. No, I wouldn't._

"_Don't forget what I said. If you tell anyone, I will find you and your family. I did you a favor. You wanted it, and I'm letting you go even though you're mine." I nodded blankly. _

_He removed my gag and kissed me with his horrible tongue again. I did not move. He squeezed me and then flipped me onto my back so he could untie my hands._

"_Now you're going to count to one hundred before you get up. I'll know if you don't. Goodbye, sweetheart."_

_I heard him leave. I didn't count, I just laid there. I couldn't. But when I finally got back up, he was not there. I began walking. I didn't think until I realized I was at a hospital, not far from our house._

_I walked in, and the nurse took one look at me and gasped._

"_Honey! What happened to you? Are you hurt? What's your name?"_

_I stared into the blonde nurse's concerned face, and watched it change. It was then when I realized I had spoken._

"_Rape."_

_There was a blur of nurses getting me into a room, a doctor coming in and speaking to a nurse. I lay motionless for a little while they fussed._

"_What's your name? Is there someone we can call?" A nurse asked me._

_Someone. Len. I wanted Len. I missed him so badly. I wanted him. He would save me. HE would shake me, waking me up to tell me it was just a dream._

"_Len." I uttered, and then remembered his words in horror._

_He'd kill Len. He'd kill him! I could not speak, he told me not to. If I spoke, I wouldn't be able to lie. I couldn't lie to my family, to my twin. He told me not to make a sound. He promised he'd kill my family. I couldn't._

_They began undressing me to put me in a hospital gown. As soon as their fingers brushed my bare skin, they became his hands all over again. Hurting me, restricting me, forcing me. I began to thrash, trying to escape them. I screamed, but no sound came out. A nurse called for a doctor. A prick at my arm. Then, darkness._

* * *

I barely reach the handle when Gakupo tackles me to the ground. We hit it hard, but all I can think of is his face and how I want to disfigure it. I want his blood on my hands.

Meiko grabs my shoulders as I try and tug away from Gakupo's hold.

"Len! Look at her." I let out some kind of feral snarl which sounds vaguely like a no, and all I see is him. Him, touching my Rin. Taunting her with horrible words that have cut her off from the world. Him, all I see is him. Drowning in his own blood, dying by my hand. I crave it.

"LEN!"

For a moment, I focus on Meiko. Her face is so angry; it looks like I'm the perpetrator, not him.

"Look at Rin. LOOK AT HER!" Meiko screams.

Shocked, I briefly glance over.

Rin presses her hands to her ears, buckled over on the floor. She has been sick all over the floor, but doesn't seem to notice. She shakes so hard I can barely make her face out. When I do, I see that her eyes are so wide that it looks like all the color has been swallowed by whiteness. Kaito kneels by her but doesn't touch her. I can guess why when I see Kaito warily reach out for a moment, but Rin almost falls over from trying to get away from her outstretched hand.

Oh Rin. Look at her. She should have never had to do this. Any of this. My poor Rin. I feel so sick at this moment that I wonder if I'm going to throw up as well. My heart aches and I immediately begin chastising myself. Look at what I did. I left her alone again. So selfish.

All I thought of was this whole thing being my fault. How would killing him help me? I realize I have to make a choice. But there really isn't a choice, not as soon as I saw her. I will always go to her.

Once my arms relax, Gaku releases me. So does Meiko, and I run towards Rin. As I hoped, Rin doesn't shy from my touch, but she seems so out of it that I'm surprised she knows it's me.

I pull her to me, trying to shield her from the world. Rin, Rin, Rin. My most precious one. My beloved twin.

She shakes like a leaf, but I can feel her calming, just a little. I take her so we can see eye to eye.

"Rin." I whisper, just to her. Only her. "He cannot touch you anymore. I won't let you go. I won't."

She stares at me with tears in her eyes and shakes her blond head back and forth, but I stop her with a touch to her cheek.

"Rin, my love, anything he said was a lie, wasn't real. Forget it. He can't hurt you; he has no power over you. Look at him, there in that window."

Against my better judgment, I turn her to the glass, holding her securely against me. My arms are wrapped around her, so she can feel safe. She still looks like she's going to be ill again, but I keep talking.

"See him in there? He can't get out. He can't hurt you. And if he did, I'd kill him. You know that." I say calmly. Rin shuts her eyes for a moment, and a tear slips down her cheek.

"Rin, Rin…" I chant. "He'll never touch you, or me, or anyone. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyones but his. He did a bad thing, but it's over. It's over. I promise."

Rin turns towards me and I hold her as she cries against my neck. I hold her tightly, and after a moment she makes a little noise.

"Huh?" I say, pulling away a bit.

She's crying, sobbing more like it. Her pale face is still beautiful, but as she cries, I see those lips move.

"Len!" She repeats through her tears. "Len!"

I am still, I cannot believe it. But it wears off and I crush her to me, so happy I begin to cry.

"Oh Rin…It's been so long…" I say tearfully. She throws her arms around my neck and continues to sob loudly, the sound of it exploding out of her lungs.

The police officers shift awkwardly. One has run out of the room to get a mop, but the two that are left converse briefly with Kaito. He turns to us.

"They still need Rin to point out which one specifically, so there are no misunderstandings." He says gently. "It's protocol." I look to Rin. She looks scared, but she nods.

I help hold her up, grasping her by the waist and by her hand. She squares her shoulders. But her knees tremble.

The officer points to the first again. "Do you recognize this man?" He asks. Rin shakes her head no. No again, and again, and once more. Finally he points the the fourth. My blood boils, but I just hold Rin a little tighter.

"Do you recognize this man?" He asks.

Rin is shaking, but she looks through the glass at the man. She swallows.

"Yes."

* * *

When we are at home, Rin and I crawl into bed. She falls asleep almost instantly. I just hold her, relishing her relaxed body against mine. She sleeps easily, breathing deeply and slowly. No nightmares.

I never fall asleep, but she sleeps for a long time. I'm glad, she was exhausted. When she finally stirs, I kiss her cheek. She smiles at me as she wakes up.

"Hi." She says softly. I smile, choking back sudden tears.

"Hi." I reply. She caresses my cheek with her hand.

"Thank you for everything, Len. You saved me, truly."

I shake my head. "You saved yourself. I was just there if you needed me to lean on." I kiss her cheek. "I love you."

She gives a little giggle, music to my ears. It's the sweetest sound.

"I love you too, Len."

Inside of me, something aches with happiness.

* * *

It took time, but eventually Rin did go back to her old self. It wasn't just hard on her, but on all of us. Miku cried when she saw Rin and heard her speak. They hugged tightly for a while.

It killed me to let Rin go out by herself that first time. Every fiber of my being longed to go with her or follow her. I wanted to protect her so badly. But Dr. Harmen says it was important. It would establish trust, and it would let Rin know that going out by herself is ok. But just because I stayed behind while she went out alone doesn't mean I didn't crush her to me the moment she returned.

Eventually, Rin was ok. She went places by herself, she was self-sufficient, she sang again. She didn't need me anymore like before. Even though she didn't, our bond was closer than ever, and I had learned to read her body language almost too well. Rin was always cautious after that, and I know inside there is still a memory that hurts her. But memories fade, or at least lose power.

Rin's rapist was sentenced to sixty years in prison with no chance at parole once they realized he was the man behind two other rapes. Rin and I did not go to his any of his court dates.

The first time Rin and I made love after she was raped, I was more terrified than she was. I was so afraid of hurting her, of scaring her, of sending her back to that dark place she had finally emerged from. I was afraid and so was she, but it didn't take long to realize nothing had really changed between us. Our love was strong, and Rin knew I would never hurt her. After that, we never worried about it again.

A few months after the identification, Rin and I walked to the park. She showed me where it happened. She cried a little and I did too. I'm not ashamed to say that I did. I love Rin.

After we both wiped away tears, she sighed.

"It's not as scary as it seemed in my mind." She admitted, looking at the bushes and the trees around us.

I squeezed her hand. "It's just a place." I said. She nodded. I looked at her. "Are you afraid, seeing it again?"

For a moment she was quiet. Then she shook her head and turned to me, wrapping both her arms around me and leaning back to look at me fully.

"No. I'm not the same girl I was before. It could have happened anywhere. To anyone. I'm not afraid, because this place isn't dangerous. It was him who did it."

I kissed her gently and she smiled, resting her head on my shoulder for a long moment.

"Let's go home." She said. We separated but kept our hands clasped together.

"Ok." I said.

* * *

_One night, I was raped. It wasn't right, and I wish it had never happened. That night I went inside myself, to a dark place to hide from the fears that ruled my mind. I would have been content to stay there forever, living in fear if Len hadn't reached out his hand and held it there, waiting for me to decide to let myself out. He waited as I gingerly placed one fingertip at a time onto his warm hand, waited as I fearfully placed my palm on his. He offered me nothing but love, and in time I began to trust it._

_I love Len so much, it hurts. What he did for me was not something that a brother would just do, or a boyfriend, or even a best friend. Len truly loves me, no matter how damaged I felt, how scared I was. Now I can breathe again, I can step into the light and feel no fear in being there. Fear doesn't rule my mind, I do._

_No matter what happens from now on, I will always stay by my twin's side. I love him just as much as he loves me, and I intend to prove it. I could not live without him, for he is the patient light who forever diminishes my darkness. I will be the same for him. Our love is strong, stronger than any fear or hatred. We will always be there for each other, and we will always carry that love inside us to keep away the darkness._

**A/N**_  
_

**I hope you all kind of liked this. This has been in my head for a while now, and I just wanted to write it out. I have never been raped or anything, but I can imagine it affects more than just the victim, and I wanted to kind of show that through Rin and Len. I hope this wasn't too graphic or sad for you guys, I will post a happier chapter next, I promise! **

**Today is also our beloved Kagamines birthday! Happy birthday to them! They are my muse, and I adore them. I kind of wish I had a happier chapter to upload today XD For those who also read my story Broken Fates, I will be uploading a new chapter of that later today as well.**

**Thank you all for reading! I appreciate it and adore you all! Your reviews feed my hungry soul.**

**Anyways~**

**Chainsaw Princess~ Thank you! I'm so glad you like it. I hope you like the last part, and thank you for reading! Aw you are so sweet! Thank you again!**

**Orange-Chan~ I know! I felt bad leaving it in two parts, but it was so long! like 30 pages XD I hope you like this chapter too!**

**VeryBerry96~ A lot of people seemed to think that! I've read a few stories like that, but I couldn't do that to my lovely Kagamines XD I tried not to make it very graphic this chapter, but enough so it made an impact. Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.**

**Hatsunemikuvocaloid01~ I know! Len is just as heart broken as Rin. I guess you never find out, he was just a horrible stranger. Thank you!**

**Cookiexo~ Nope, Len definetly had some bloodlust for that guy. Len was ready to drown him in his own blood, so you're not the only one! **

**Yea, I don't know where all the angst came from. But it's kind of rainbow at the end, right? And I agree. Abortion should be the victim's choice. People should be more willing to talk about it! As for rape between the twins, yea it wouldn't work to well in my mind. Besides, I'm so RinxLen that it would probably turn out all romantic and fluffy which isn't too realistic XD **

**Thank you! TAT Dang you're good at predicting. You know me too well. I'll have to become less predictable XD**

**Emily~ Thank you so much! I will!**

**Rikuma~Hi! Thank you! Makes me feel warm inside hearing that you like them~ I know! I usually don't write things so sad! It's not too bad in the end though!**

**Mei Mei-chan~ I know TAT Thank you! I hope you like this one too!**


	11. Beach

Rin POV

"I'm hot!" I whined, leaning my head against the glass of the car window. No one said anything.

"I'm hoootttt!" I repeated. Kaito, sitting in the passenger seat, turned around to look at me.

"Then open the window Rin." He said tiredly. We had been driving forever, in our stupid car with the broken air conditioner. It was barely big enough for all of us. Meiko was driving, and me, Len, and Miku were stuck in the backseat, with poor Len in the middle. I pushed the button as the glass slid down idly.

"We would have been there an hour ago if we hadn't had to stop three times for ice cream and ice to keep the ice cream!" Meiko said, glaring at Kaito. He frowned.

"It was completely necessary." He sniffed, hugging the giant cooler he held closer. "Eyes on the road Meiko!" he shrieked as the car began to swerve. Meiko slid her glare to the road.

I sighed and leaned my head onto my twin's sticky warm shoulder. He stopped playing his game boy, glancing over. Sliding his hand into mine, pressing our palms together, he whispered, "Don't worry Rinny, we will be there soon." I nodded sleepily. Beyond Len, Miku lowered her magazine and leaned forward, resting her chin on the shoulder of Meiko's seat. I squinted against the sun and wind from the open window.

"Are we almost there?" Miku asked, brushing her teal bangs away from her forehead. Meiko sighed. "We will be there in half an hour IF we don't stop anymore!" Another life threatening swerve occurred as more fighting between the two older ones began, but I didn't really notice. My hair was stuck against my neck as I cuddled next to Len despite the heat. He sighed, and I closed my eyes, falling asleep.

"Rin. Hey Rin, look." I was gently awakened by Len, who was pointing out the window. I lifted my face from his bare sticky shoulder to look up and out the window. There was a huge streak of dark blue at the horizon, darker and shiner than the sky. My eyes widened.

"The sea!" I squealed happily. I turned back to Len, who was staring at me. Miku was looking out the window, Kaito focused on his cooler, and Meiko for once was fixated on the road, so I leaned over swiftly, brushing my lips against Len's. He looked surprised at my swift peck as I drew back, smiling coyly. Len was so silly. I brushed my bangs back and looked away, leaning out the window to see a sign: Umai, 5 miles. I giggled eagerly. Soon we could get out of this hot car and onto the beach! I leaned back into the seat and slid my eyes over to Len.

What a fun vacation we were going to have.

Len POV

Rin and Miku darted inside as soon as we stopped in front of the light wooden beach house. Since our Vocaloids singing group had finally taken off, we could afford such a nice, spacious place, right on the beach. The house was wide, only one floor, with a pretty deck. The place seemed to be strong, yet made of sun-bleached white boards. The grass in front could barely be called grass, for it was dry and half sand as I lugged bags across to the house. Pushing the door open with my back, the inside was cool and inviting, and lots of beachy furniture decorated the place.

I was just about to plunk the luggage down when Rin slid in down the hall.

"In here Len! Bring our stuff in here!" She squealed. I flushed and followed her. I mean, of course I was glad to share a room with Rin, but I often wondered if the others realized how…close Rin and I were. I really loved Rin, but I didn't know about her. She was so flirtatious, and I often wondered if she was just… having fun with me or whatever. I blushed at the thought of her soft kiss in the car as she came into view in the big room we were to share as we did at home. However, there was one noticeable difference. There was one bed in here.

"Uh...Rin… Maybe we should pick a different room." I said uncertainly. She giggled and bounced on the bed before crawling over to the edge where I stood.

"Len." She held up four fingers. "There are four rooms in this place, each with one bed. Two people must share." Her eyes were huge and blue as she stared into mine. She grinned and sat back on her heels. "I can always share a room with Miku if you don't want to share a bed with me…" she trailed off. I felt my face get hot.

"No…this is fine! I don't want Miku to be uncomfortable…I mean, we always share a room. Why not?" I stammered. Rin bounced off the bed.

"That's what I thought!" She said, winking at me before waltzing out the door. I sighed and watched her leave, her pink skirt swaying with her tiny hips as she did.

I looked out at two double doors that led outside, and eventually to the ocean and beach. Rin was so beautiful, and could be so sweet… I just wished she was only mine. But she was my twin.

Miku popped her head in. "Beach in ten!" she announced. I nodded and she ran off, teal pigtails trailing behind her. I opened a yellow suitcase, the kind me and Rin both had, and started looking for my black and gray swim trunks. Suddenly, I froze when I realized what my hands were buried in.

Ruffles and bright colors…and lace. Rin's suitcase! Footsteps behind me made my hair stand on end. Oh no… it couldn't be…

"LEN! What are you doing?!" Rin shouted. I immediately pulled my hands back.

"I didn't realize…my swim trunks…" I whimpered and stammered. She glared at my hand, and I soon realized a pair of her purple lacy panties hung off my thumb. I went deep red and shook my hand spastically so they fell to the ground in a tiny heap. She glared down at them, then me. I flushed deeper, picking them up and handing them to her. She swiped them from my hand and threw them in her suitcase.

"I'm sorry Rin… I really didn't mean it!" She turned back, a funny expression on her face. She waltzed to the door and shut it before walking up to me. Her small stature caused her to have to look up at me, but I still cowered. She laid her hand on my arm.

"If you wanted to see my underwear," She said seriously, "You could have just asked." I felt my face grow incredibly hot again. She smiled and took off her shirt as she backed away.

"I might have even let you see them on!" She called as she walked into the bathroom, dropping her shirt and grabbing her swimsuit. I stood in the silence as she closed the door. After standing frozen for a while, I walked to my suitcase, which I was certain was mine now and numbly rummaged for my swim suit. After putting it on, I waited for my sister on the bed.

Why did she tease me so? It was times like this that I never knew…

"Wooo!" Rin squealed, bounding out the bathroom door. She threw herself at me, and I instinctively caught her. She smiled at me, and then leaned forward to kiss me. I kissed her back of course, hungry for it ever since she had pecked me in the car. She ran her small hands through my hair, and I felt it being released from my small ponytail. Her breath was warm as it caressed me as we parted for breath, and I kissed her lightly before lifting her off me, placing her beside me. She held up my hair band between two fingers.

"I'll leave this here." She said breathlessly. I nodded and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the sliding glass doors. My head spun from our kiss, but I was so confused I couldn't possibly stay there, alone in that room with Rin anymore. Pulling her out into the sea-scented air and down wooden steps, I looked back at her smiling face and wondered what she was thinking for the millionth time today.

Rin POV

"Miku!" I screamed as she kicked a bunch of water in my face. I pouted as she swam off, laughing. She could be a brat sometimes! Meiko and Len sat on the beach. Meiko was laying out in her red bikini, showing off her huge boobs, so some guys had come over and talked to her. From the water, Kaito glared at them. Len sat reading a book in the shade. Miku ran up to him from the water.

"Len, Len! Come swim with us!" she urged. I ducked down in the water so only my eyes were above it as I watched her. I could feel my stupid jealousy starting to flare up possessively. Miku was cute, sure, with her long hair and pretty voice, but Len couldn't possibly like her! Plus my suit was much cuter, yellow and white with a little ruffle on the bottom piece. Len shook his head a few times to my delight, so Miku pranced off to talk to Kaito. Once she was gone, I stood up out of the water to run over to Len.

I slowed as I got closer, and he stopped reading. I smiled sweetly. "Hey Len! Whatcha doing?" He smiled back, an adorable smile that made my tummy do back flips.

"Reading." He replied. I put my hands behind my back and glanced up at the sky. "Want to sit? He asked. I nodded. He started to move over, but I plunked myself in his lap instead.

I saw Miku look over at us, and I waved sweetly. She waved back before diving back into the waves. I leaned back into Len and he put his arms around me.

"Don't you want to swim?" he said quietly.

"Nope." I replied flippitantly. "Unless you would want to join me." I added embarrassingly, looking to the side.

"I guess I could swim for a little while." He mumbled. I sprang up.

"Hooray! Come on!" I squealed. He looked up at me funny. I shielded my eyes from the sun and glanced down. "What is it Lenny?" He shook his head and put his book down before grabbing something. I held out my hand and helped him up, but he wouldn't let go.

"Sunscreen." He stated. I scowled as he smiled. "Turn around Rin." I did, and shivered at the coldness of the sunscreen. He gently spread it over my back and shoulders. I shivered again, but this time for a different reason.

"Hurry up Len!" I instructed, glad I was facing away so he couldn't see me blush. But then he turned me around and frowned.

"Your face looks red, better put some there too." He put some on his fingers before carefully rubbing it into my face. I pouted and wished he would stop so my face wouldn't turn redder. He suddenly halted and cupped my cheek. I looked into his eyes, startled. He leaned forward and kissed me gently, sweetly, his eyes full of love. It was that kind that made me embarrassed and flustered, so as soon as he pulled away, I ran past him.

"Come on!" I called once I was far enough away. He stared at me from afar before running and diving into the waves. The water splashed me, and I squealed as he popped up beside me. I always knew he would come back.

Len POV

Me and Rin were already inside, sipping some cold drinks when everyone else came in. Kaito had stayed out to keep an eye on Meiko, Miku to try and talk to some of the guys, and Meiko to get a better tan. Rin and I had only been in here for about ten minutes, so all we had really done was to sit our heat-stricken bodies down and drink.

Meiko headed straight to the fridge for some sake, and Kaito ran off to change. Miku plunked herself down at the table.

"Hey Meiko, grab me a water!" She whined. Meiko handed her one as she sat down.

"Guess what I heard?" She said, sipping her sake. I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table.

"What?" I asked. She smiled at me as Kaito returned. "That was fast!" Miku remarked as Kaito grabbed a soda and shrugged.

"Anyways," Meiko continued, "I heard from a guy that there's going to be a party tonight! Over past the boardwalk." I grimaced, leaning back into my chair. That sounded boring. Maybe I would just stay home. I looked over at Rin, hoping she wouldn't either. Rin sipped thoughtfully through her straw.

"I'm going!" Miku squealed happily. "I bet there will be boys!"

"I'll go to, sounds cool." Kaito agreed.

"I'm not going." Meiko announced. Everyone stared at her. "But you brought it up in the first place!" Miku cried.

"Doesn't mean you can't go!" Meiko retorted. "I'll stay home and watch the kiddies." I winced and saw Rin's face go dark. We were the babies of the family, but I knew that Rin wasn't going to be patronized.

"I'm going too!" She yelled. Miku giggled. Rin turned to her and glowered. "I am!"

"Rin, you're only sixteen, and there's sure to be booze." Kaito remarked. I stayed silent, praying they would make Rin stay home. Maybe then we could do something fun.

"But Kaito, I'll be with you and Miku! And you know I never drink!" Rin whined. Meiko sighed dramatically, like Rin's protests were killing her.

"Let her go if she wants. Its only five minutes from home." With that, she went to change as Rin squealed. I got up to go change as well, and hide the fact that I didn't want Rin to go.

"Len, wait!" I heard Rin call. I paused and she caught up and grabbed my hand. "You'll go with me right?" I shook my head.

"Nah, I think I'll hang out here." I replied casually. She frowned and whined, "Please Lenny! What if I get in trouble?" She looked up at me with huge eyes, begging. But I remember the way she brushed past me earlier. I can't always let her tug me along!

"Nah, you go and have fun. Tell me about it later." She let go of my arm, disappointed and followed me into our room.

"Well I'll have to find something to wear!" She announced, putting her hands on her hips. I smiled to myself at the sight of the stubborn thing, standing there in her frilly bikini looking as if she was about to face the greatest challenge.

For the next hour and a half, I was forced to watch Rin try on outfit after outfit, praying that Kaito or someone would come and save me. But no, there was no getting away from Rin. After trying on combination after combination of every single piece of clothing she had brought, she finally decided on a low cut orange shirt, and some black shorts. I escaped to the kitchen before the matter of accessories came up and was debated. Meiko was already there, starting her own little party consisting of her, her sake, and apparently me.

"Lenny!" She cooed. "Bring me another can! Then we can watch TV together!" I gulped nervously. Meiko liked watching reality TV and laughing hysterically when something went wrong. It wasn't my cup of tea.

I handed her a can. "Sorry Meiko gotta go help Rin!"

"Help me what?" Rin said, creeping up behind me. I scowled after almost jumping out of my skin. Someone should put a bell on her.

"Oh, you are gonna go?" I asked nervously. She nodded, looking at me curiously. Miku bounded down the hall, dragging Kaito behind her.

"Let's go!" She boomed. Rin nodded, waving goodbye at me before following the two. I hesitated.

"Rin wait!" I called, running after her. She stopped on the porch and turned. Miku and Kaito were already down the sidewalk. I grabbed Rin's hand.

"Call me if you need me to walk you home or anything." I said. Rin stared at me, and I met her eyes uncertainly. She kissed my cheek.

"I will. Don't worry." She replied before running down the steps. I watched her go sadly, already regretting I didn't just go with her.

After being forced to watch TV with Meiko, I had slunk off to my bedroom to read, but had soon fallen asleep since my head was filled with thoughts of my twin, taking all of my concentration. However, I was jolted awake by a loud ringing sound.

I sluggishly dragged myself to the phone in the living room.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily.

"Lenny!" A voice squealed loudly. I winced, and then realized who that was.

"Rin?" I asked. She giggled.

"Hiiii!" She slurred. "Come get me. Miku is being mean."

"Are you drunk?" I demanded. "Where's Miku? Kaito?" I suddenly grew frantic. What was Rin doing drunk?

Her voice suddenly got whiney. "I just wanted to try it! Miku tol' me I couldn't, but I did, so now, so now she won't take me home!" I sighed.

"Stay where you are Rin. Are you still at the party?" She murmured a yes. "Good, I'll be there soon. Don't talk to strangers." I added stupidly. Lacing my tennis shoes up fast, I sprinted out the door and down the block.

Eventually I came to the place they were talking about. I opened the door cautiously, but no one seemed to notice me as I came in. I looked around for Rin, not seeing Miku or Kaito either. A pair of arms suddenly looped around my neck from behind.

"Len!" Rin said happily. I turned around. She looked drunk. I frowned as I saw a few guys eyeing her.

"Let's go." I prompted. She tugged on my arm.

"Come one, dance with me for a little bit!" She whined. I scooped her up, throwing her over my shoulder.

"Nope. Let's go." I carried her out the door onto the lawn as she screamed and kicked.

"Put me down!" She insisted as we soon reached our house. I did carefully, pulling down her shirt and brushing her hair back as she swayed unsettlingly.

I was just about to ask her if she was ok to walk when she suddenly giggled girlishly and bolted towards the ocean.

"Catch me!" She screamed with laughter. I immediately gave chase, she would surely drown if she went swimming drunk!

Despite her drunkenness, she was pretty fast, and reached the water before me. I ran in after her, grabbing onto her waist as I pulled her out of the waves.

"Len! It's cold!" She complained as I dragged her towards home.

"Then you shouldn't have jumped in the water!" I gritted through my teeth. Pulling her through the doors of our bedroom, I propped her on the bathroom floor. What to do? She needed a shower; she couldn't stay in wet clothes either.

I made sure she was ok before racing into the living room, where Meiko was passed out. I glanced at the clock, who knew when the others were going to be home? I returned to our bathroom.

"Rin, you take a shower ok?" She whimpered and shook her head.

"I'm cold and I can't stand!" She protested. I sighed and ran my hands through my damp bangs. What was I going to do?

Ok. Stay calm. You've seen her naked a million times. I leaned down.

"Rin, I'm going to help you change your clothes. Is that ok?" She nodded and held her arms up. I helped her take off her top, and then lifted her up so we could slide her shorts off. I stared at her, for Rin was really cute…and undeniably sexy.

I shook my head and avoided her, helping her to our room, where I set her on the bed, wrapped in a towel. Once again, I had to go into her suitcase. This time, I picked out a nightgown and some new undergarments. How I was going to get them on was beyond me.

"Rin?" I said.

"Hmm?" She replied sleepily. I held out her undergarments and nightgown, wishing to god Miku or Meiko were here to do this.

"P-Put these on." I instructed. She put the towel down and started to strip naked. I turned around, because it felt kinda…wrong, I mean she was drunk.

"Lennnn!" She said. I turned around. She was mostly changed, with her back to me. "Fasten this please? I can't get it." I shakily went behind her and fastened her bra for her, then grabbed her nightgown and pulled it over her head. Afterwards, I felt incredibly relieved. Rin was all changed and dry. I lead her back to the bed and tucked her in, so I could go change. When I came back, she appeared to be sleeping.

When I slid into bed next to her, I suddenly felt something by my back and I slim arm wrapping around my waist.

"Len…" Rin whispered. I turned to face her.

"What?" I asked. She smiled at me, her fingertips caressing my face as I had earlier.

"I love you…" She murmured. I stared at her in shock. She smiled again and snuggled in closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck before falling asleep.

Don't be stupid! She's drunk. She doesn't mean it. But still… I kissed her forehead and made sure she was covered up. She was actually really warm. I decided I would just try and find out in the morning.

**A/N **

**I had a better story, but it's super sad and I didn't want to do that to you guys after my last story! But this one is super old, so it's really not any good. But if you like it, maybe I'll continue it. I have to go update Broken Fates, those guys are probably super mad at me, I haven't posted a new chapter in forever!**

**So happy new year, and thanks for reading!**

**Anyways~**

**Sourpatchkid03~**

**Haha, thanks. You're so sweet!**

**VeryBerry96~ **

**Aw, thank you! Me too! I wish I had a boyfriend like Len! Thanks darling 3**

**Rikuma~**

**Thank you! Ahaha...yea, sorry . That's so cool that you like my fluffy stuff XD I'll be updating Broken Fates soon, promise! I'm the oldest sister, so I get ya!**

**Orange-chan~**

**Thank you! Ah, my Broken Fates story is around 150 pages, and I'm still not done XD But that was after writing for a long time, so keep at it!**

**TheSapphireRose~ **

**Oh my goodness, thank you! I'm shocked you think so, this was just a little side thing, ya know? But really, thank you very much!**

**Chainsaw Princess~ **

**First if all, thank you for your review, darling. Let me just say that you are incredibly strong, and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Thank you for sharing with me, really. When I read your review, I was overwhelmed. I myself have never been raped, and to me this was just a story that wouldn't get out of my mind. But hearing that it affected you so...it made me feel like a real writer. I'm so glad I could do something that made you feel happy, it makes me feel happy. I'm glad that I didn't offend you, I was worried that people would think I wasn't taking the subject seriously! But if you ever need to talk, about anything, PM me! I myself have gone through some hard stuff and I would never mind. So thank you again, for sharing and for reading 3**

**Cookiexo~ **

**Hey darling! And please, any review is a good one!**

**It was the trauma and the threat that rendered Rin mute. And thank you, you are so sweet. Yea, I get bothered with things that over-exaggerated, especially if it's a serious issue. I once read a story about the character being abused, and it was simply awful. I was so mad! **

**And oh my goodness, I also have a Rin and Len plushie! I have a lot of plushies, but they are some of my favorite! I'll update Broken Fates soon, sorry ;-; Being on break makes me lazy! And youa re not cheesy, you are wonderful XD**

**Lolligal99~ Thank you! You are so, so kind. I just wanna give you a hug!**


	12. Angel

It's been two years since she died.

When it comes to her, I never forgot a moment. Not even when she was dying and bloody in my arms. I still remember every word she said, every moment I witnessed of her, every second of perfection.

I forget everything else a lot though. How could I not? I only think of her.

Everyone says I should move on. Closure, mourning, grief, denial, obsession: all words that they say again and again. They don't know. They don't understand.

She was perfect. She was a part of me-no, she made up me. My heart beat with hers. Hers isn't beating anymore. I don't think mine does either. It shouldn't.

She loved me. I loved her. We were bonded closer than the DNA we shared. Every move she made I understood. I could know how she was feeling or what she was thinking just by a twitch of her lips, a shrug of her shoulder.

They all laughed at us. We were a party trick, the two loveable freaks. Watch Rin, if she moves her arm Len will move too. Watch them sleep; they sleep like they are aware of each other's every breath. Ask Rin what Len is thinking, she'll be right. Make Len angry and Rin will be the only one to calm him down. Watch them, they're different. They're weird. They're unnatural. They're freaks.

They didn't understand the pain Rin and I felt from simply being apart. Just standing close to another hurt. Touching Rin's arm, kissing her, breathing the air she breathed relaxed us both, made it hurt less to be two instead of one.

Twins. Always two. Now one. No sister. No best friend. No lover. No soul mate. No twin. Nothing. Nothing is left.

If I could, I'd go back and just watch her breathe. I'd tell her how much I loved her. I'd go back and jump in front of that bullet, catch that small steel cylinder of hell in my body so it wouldn't reach her. No matter how deep it would be buried in my body, no matter how much it hurt, I'd do it. If only I had known.

I don't know what to do. I want to be with her. But she can't be here. I want to be there. I want to die. But she said no. She made me promise, with her last breaths. It was one of the most important things she wanted to say to me. I cannot defy her. I cannot hurt her like that.

Rin, Rin, Rin. Please no.

Every morning is hell, because every morning I think I hear her breathing. But when I open my eyes, she's not here. Just me. Breathing, even if I don't want to. How I wish I could see her.

The last time I saw her, really saw her, she was in my arms. Blood trickled out of her perfectly pink lips. She still smiled.

There was so much blood the police thought I had been shot as well. When they came to take her away, I wouldn't let them, even though she was gone. I couldn't. They had to fight me back, pry her from my hands.

After that, I don't remember much. They say I went mad, trying to reach her body, fighting off three police officers who tried to restrain me. I painted their cars with her blood, screaming and howling as I spread the red everywhere on everything. They say the sound was so unnatural and so full of pain it hurt to hear. Like an animal being tortured. When they finally got me in a straightjacket, I passed out.

I was mute for a while, not speaking at all. If Rin had been there, I wouldn't have needed to speak, because she would speak for me.

When I was three, I stopped talking, and no one knew why. Rin knew, but she wouldn't tell. But she did tell them what I wanted, what I would have said if I had tried. There would be no charades, no sign language. Rin just knew staring into my eyes.

They say I wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep. I wanted to see her, but they wouldn't let me. To this day, no one has told me that Rin is dead. I already know of course, but they have never said it.

It's kind of good. I like to pretend she's still alive. She's just hiding, waiting. She's going to surprise me. It was all a prank. I won't ever be alone, it's just a joke. I won't be alone for the rest of my life; she's just playing with me.

They let me go to the funeral, event though I "wasn't well." She was beautiful, but she looked sort of fake. They had everything about her perfect, even down to her favorite perfume. I could smell it when I leaned over her casket. Its lining was white and pure. Perfect for her.

The only thing that was wrong was that she wasn't smiling. I whispered to her to smile, everyone was going to be looking at her. But she didn't. So I did, for her. I smiled widely, trying to smile like she did. She had the prettiest grin, so open and quick and happy. She was so full of light and life and joy.

I was in a suit. She always laughed when I wore a suit. I wanted to wear her favorite shirt, but they said no. She was wearing her favorite sundress. She was so beautiful. If she had been awake, I would have kissed her, hard until she didn't have any air. Then her heart would beat fast trying to make up for the lack of air. I would listen to it. She would run those slim fingers through my hair like she liked, and we would be happy.

They asked me why I was smiling. When I told them that I was because Rin wasn't, they looked upset. They told me to stop. But I couldn't, even when they talked about her life.

They all said wonderful things about Rin. I cried, but I still smiled. For her.

I wanted to talk, but they said no. They said it wouldn't be good for me. They said it would be best. So later, I stood by Rin's grave after she was buried and whispered what I would have said to her. Just her.

She didn't say anything back.

Her gravestone reads BELOVED. Beloved what, I wonder. To me, she was beloved sister, beloved friend, a lot of things. But she is not BELOVED. That is not Rin. She was loved, but that says very little about her. It should say BEAUTIFUL or LOVING or KIND or PERFECT. Rin was loved because she was so kind and loving. BELOVED she was, but it was not what defined her.

I left a flower there, and her necklace. They gave it to me, but it's not mine. It's hers. The flower was orange. She loved orange.

I wish she would come back. I wish I could be with her. I want to be with her, so, so badly. It hurts so bad that sometimes I can't cry, and sometimes I can't breathe because I'm crying.

I'm alone. I'm hardly ever alone anymore. They're all worried about me. They think I'll do something "rash." I just want to take a walk.

I do walk. I left my coat, which strikes me as funny. Rin was the forgetful one.

It's cold, and I'm walking far. But time passes so quickly right now. Sometimes it's very slow. But I barely remember walking. I just know when I'm here.

This is the street we were walking on. That's the store that was being robbed. We were holding hands. Rin was taking a picture of us; the thief thought she was taking a picture of him. He had a gun. She had a hole in her chest.

Its empty now, the world is. Its night, I think. It's snowing. It was never this cold when Rin was here, right?

Even the streets are empty. A car passes by maybe once as I stand there. I wish I could rewind, try again. Start over. I close my eyes. Maybe if I try, her hand will be in mine and it will start over.

No use. I want so much to be with her. I'm sure she's an angel. But does she miss me?

I walk slowly into the street, crunching the fine layer of snow that has stated to collect. Maybe if I wait here, she'll come. My Rin.

I feel warmth and turn, seeing headlights in the distance. I watch them come closer then walk further into the road. She will come, we will finally be together. The lights are coming closer, and I throw my head back and my arms out to the sky.

Where's my angel?

**A/N**

**Depressing, I know. Sorry ;-;**

**I'm alive, hooray. If you follow Broken Fates, Im so so sorry ;-; I'm having problems with depression and other stuff...I just recently posted a new chapter.**

**So no review replies this time, Im sorry! Im seriously tired, but I'll do my best to keep posting, and defiently reply to reviews next time! Each one means a lot to me, please know that.**


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